Going Deep

5 Months!

2011-10-19T08:50:00.002-05:00

Our little Miss Maebry is 5 months old! I'm amazed that consistently, every time she gets ready to turn another month older, she starts doing new things. There is nothing more fascinating to me than watching a baby grow and explore and learn. It blows my mind!

Here are some of my favorite changes we've observed this last month:

She is starting to reach out and grip her toys and plush animals on her play gym. She's even petting Brinkley's beard which then turns into gripping her bears. Watch out Brinkley - you may be losing some whiskers soon!
She is making wet razzing noises and new consonant combinations when she makes noise. We tried imitating it last night, but to no avail. We just ended up spitting all over the place :) But we hear a lot of the "b" and "g" and "d" in there every now and then.
She's begun to imitate those around her. She loves to stare at Marcus and try and imitate his funny mouth shapes he can make. Last night, to our amazement, she was staring at my sister Lindsay who was nodding her head over and over. Maebry started to nod her head. Then Linds shook her head back and forth, and slowly but surely, Maebry did the same thing! And she wouldn't stop. We were laughing so hard. It's adorable!
She's learning how to self-soothe and sleep in the crib full-time. I think we spoiled our little muffin by swaddling her & putting her in the soft, plush newborn pack n play for sleep and using the swing for her daytime naps. We had transitioned her to the crib for overnight pretty successfully, but last weekend we realized she'd outgrown the swing and it was time to get rid of it altogether. After 3 hellish days (excuse the language, but it was AWEFUL and heartbreaking for me) of wailing, tears, writhing, and fighting against it all, she is finally napping again! We've learned she still likes the swaddle (that will be our next battle to fight very soon since she's rolling) and loves to sleep on her side, so that's helping. And I've been amazed that the last few nights when we've woken up to her fussy cry, she's soothed herself back to sleep. I think we're making progress!
Girlfriend is 'a rolling-over non stop! These days when we put her on the ground on her back, she almost automatically rolls to her left side. My favorite times are when her bent knee gets in the way and she rocks back and forth, back and forth. But eventually she'll do it and she can even pull her pinned arms out from under her.
I think Maebry is going to share her mother's love of reading. We have been reading books with her before bedtime and sometimes randomly just to help her calm down and stop fussing over her teething. She loves the "peek-a-boo" books with hidden images under the flaps. She also loves texture so any book with bumps, scratches, soft spots, or monkey heads (don't freak out - it's the 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed book!) and we're good to go. I think my favorite times with her will be these moments spent reading and learning.
Speaking of which, we're pretty sure she is teething! Unfortunately, we've noticed an increase in drool, she loves to chew-chew-chew on anything you put in her mouth, and her fingers are always shoved way in there getting gnawed on. We still don't feel anything or see anything on her gums, but I know things are 'a moving in there.
She's on her way to sitting up on her own. We've been propping her up on the chair or couch and if she's positioned correctly and doesn't have a full diaper, she sits pretty well. I think she likes being closer to us and observing things from our perspective (closer, anyway). We've started using her high chair now and then in preparation for starting solid foods.
And overall, I just love how responsive she is. She is interacting with people and things in her world more and more.

Love my little bee! Happy 5 Months, Miss Maebry!

Relections on Goals

2011-09-26T10:25:00.003-05:00

I was reading my friend Nicole's blog today about goals she set for herself this year. I love the way she's "reminding" herself of her goals by checking in/blogging about them during each of the 4 quarters of the year. Genius! I am so good at setting goals each yet, yet so bad about keeping up with them or evening REMEMBERING what I set as a goal! So today I took a look back and made my own "reflections" on my goals for 2011! (Thanks Nicole! You can read her blog here.)

Goal 1: Read 30 Books
I realized I read an extra book last year, making my total 30 read for 2010. Therefore, I am "revising" my goal to read 31 books in 2011! Currently, I'm standing strong at 29 books read. Not bad for it being the end of September. I am in the middle of book #30 and will have to find one more book to read in these last three months of the year. And I've read some good ones! It will be fun to blog about them early next year.

Goal 2: Read through the entire Bible
Slap my wrist, I have put my book-list reading ahead of reading through the Bible! But I have confidence I can still read through it before the end of the year. During the summer of '03, I read through it in 10 weeks. I have 14 weeks left in the year now, so it seems doable. I'm going to make some progress on this one in October!

Goal 3: Eat healthier
Having a baby was actually a huge jump start for this goal of mine. Mostly from necessity! My awesome mom came and stayed with us for the first couple weeks, and she made some really healthy and tasty foods for us. We also had some great friends make us homemade meals for about a month. We found ourselves at the end of Maebry's first month of life not having eaten out once! This totally changed the way we eat meals in our household. We've definitely gone back to eating out, but I've made a mental and physical change to the WAY I eat. I've cut out DQ blizzards (so long, prego-cravings!), I have cut down on the portions I eat, and I try and make healthier choices when we do go out. I have been trying my hand at cooking homemade meals lately, and I've had a couple very successful weeks where we don't eat out at all. The last week and now this week, however, have been really hectic and we're back to "survival" mode! But as things hopefully slow down a bit in October, I hope to make this a routine for us: eating healthy, eating the right portions, and cutting out our meals eaten on the go.

Goal 4: Exercise consistently
Yeah. This is NOT happening. Unless you count all the running around we do! Exercise to me is lifting weights, stretching, walking/jogging, and getting a good sweat on. I haven't perspired since the heatwave of August (and that was merely from walking outside my house!). Marcus and I have been going for evening walks almost daily with Maebry and Brinkley, but we have come to call it "meandering" since our pace is kind of slow! We usually stop and chat with various neighbors and don't really get "exercise" from this. But I'm not beating myself up. We are raising a baby who is still less than half a year old and at least we're getting out of the house and walking around somehow! Maybe I'll get back into running or walking more on my own in the mornings once my body is fully recovered and Maebry can sit in her jogging stroller.

Goal 5: Be a better wife
I'd like to THINK that my goal is being met, but I really can't say. I'm trying so hard to work at my reactions and tone with Marcus when I get frustrated or angry. I think he would agree when I say that we are "fighting better" than we used to! It seems like our arguments are cut shorter and we are communicating a lot better, overall. We still have our moments FOR SURE but I will defer to his response to this goal. Maybe Marcus can "guest blog" about this at the end of the year :)

I'm glad to have reviewed this goals today! It helps me look forward to the last three months of 2011 with hope and a renewed desire to bring these to fruition. I hope to finish strong this year!

4 Months Old

2011-09-20T08:36:00.003-05:00

Someone turned 4 months old this weekend! Maebry is growing like a weed and changing almost on a daily basis. It's been such a joy to spend time with her, especially in the last couple weeks. She is starting to pay more attention to little things and big things and interacting with them all. She has discovered her hands, she loves playing with Brinkley (which is mostly Brinkley licking her limbs!!), she smiles and giggles all the time, and she is constantly making noise. I wouldn't say it's quite babbling yet but there's always a sound coming from her windpipes! She is still a very, very messy baby and spits up a lot, but we have learned to smile and laugh as we constantly change clothes. My "get ready for work" routine has become "get ready in 5 minutes as you're walking out the door" so as not to leave with a mess on my work clothes :) She loves to be on her tummy and looks like she's flying - no limbs touching the ground and her head is up! It's amazing how much she has changed. The other thing we love about Maebry is her love of the outdoors - I think we have a future camper/backpacker/hiker on our hands! Mae loves to go on walks and prefers to be upright as opposed to in her stroller, so she can look all around at the sights and up above at the trees.

We are so grateful to have her in our lives. I can't imagine what life would look like without her anymore. She is a part of us, she is our family, and she is changing us as well. I love her so much and can't wait to witness her exploring the world in her upcoming fifth month!

Also, this coming weekend, we are taking part in our church's child dedication service. It's a wonderful chance for us to publicly commit Maebry to the Lord, and to have our church commit to helping raise her to know Him. We also get to speak a blessing over her during the service, which I'm looking forward to doing. Many blessings were spoken over people in the old and new testament in the Bible, and it will be a privilege to do the same over our daughter. We're looking forward to that experience with our church community and our family who will join us. What a sweet way to remember her 4 month (and one week) birthday :)

Daycare Woes

2011-09-14T11:27:00.002-05:00

Yes, I'm a workin' mama. That means I have to leave my little sugar-bundle in the care of someone else each day of the work week. For three of the five days, I have complete peace and even joy knowing that she gets to spend a day with her 2 nanas (Karen and my mom) and one of her 4 aunts, Sara. They are wonderful, giving, caring, and attentive to Maebry and I hope I speak truth when I say they really enjoy time with her! It's a blessing for all of us.

But we have these two days we need someone else, and we have had to find a daycare provider. At the suggestion of a close friend, we found a gal who goes to our church and has an in-home daycare (I am confident this is the option for Maebry and for me, as opposed to a daycare center). This provider has been great, but she is overcrowded on some days like today, and we keep getting notified that Maebry won't sleep. THIS IS NOT NORMAL! At home, she sleeps well, once given enough time and attention to get to the point of sleep. We are also driving a lot to get her there/back, so we think it may possibly be time for a new daycare option. One with less kids, and one closer to home.

I'm writing this to ask for prayer and guidance as we put time into searching for a new option. Please also, if you happen to have ANY contacts or options in the Des Moines area, please send them my way. I would appreciate it!

In other news - Maebry is amazing. We have had the best past 4 days with her. She's been happy, exploring her voice more, and interacting with her hands and the things/people around her. As she approaches 4 months this weekend, I can see so many incredible changes and developments. I'm amazed every day and grateful for her life. I just wish I could provide more for her by being there! But it's not in the cards for now - so I'm trying to be at peace as a workin' mama and recognizing that we may need a bit of a change.

Thanks for your prayers/advice!

My Handy Husband

2011-09-07T14:13:00.004-05:00

Marcus took a day off today and completed a really great project for Maebry's room. I had found this image well before we knew we were expecting (I love to look at craft blogs!) and fell in love with the simplicity and idea.

This is the blog post I read/where photo comes from.

Marcus simply created letters to spell Maebry's name and cut them out on the nifty cnc machine at work. Then he used some leftover trim from our closet remodel paired with some corner molding from the hardware store. So simple, and looks great to me!

Sorry the image is poor & not close up. But you get the jist.

Thanks Marcus for being super awesome and making Maebry's room so cozy :)

Post-Labor-Day Update

2011-09-06T10:02:00.003-05:00

We had a wonderful, L-O-N-G weekend. It had a rough start and end, but the in between was fantastic.

Friday we had to take Maebry to the doctor at our daycare lady's request. She had been screaming (that's unusual) and had "thrown-up" three times (she's a very, very spitty baby so I had my doubts). I picked her up around 2, and once we got to the doctor we waited in the 10x10 exam room for over 45 minutes. The first 15 went fine, but there's only so much for a 3.5 month old to observe before getting antsy. Let alone hungry. Luckily the daycare provider had thrown the remaining breastmilk into the diaper bag. I gave her that and she chowed down. Whining ensued, so I dug around and found 3 more ounces of formula, and made a quick second bottle. Sheesh - so stressful! I will never, ever again make a late-afternoon appointment unless she truly seems sick. There ended up being nothing wrong with her, and she was totally happy and content and slept fine that evening. Oh well, better safe than sorry going into a long weekend, I suppose.

Friday night we entered our "let's test this out" mode and put Maebry to bed sans swaddle sack, and in her crib. She fell asleep right away with her little hands up by her head and we thought to ourselves "We did it!"

Should've knocked on wood. Lesson: never gloat. NEVER.

Chica woke up about a half-hour later, and was rolling all over the place. She rolled so much in the crib that we saw an arm poke out of the slats (we have a monitor, and we're "those" parents who aren't using bumpers), followed swiftly by her right LEG. Not just a foot, her LEG! Skinny girl was practically hugging the mattress! So we swept her up and tried again. Knowing that my husband had to wake up at 3 a.m. for work, and knowing how tired we already were from the week, we decided to swaddle her and give it a try another time.

Basically - because she sleeps SO well and content - we decided to continue swaddling. I spoke with three or four friends who also swaddled their babies (for anywhere from 6 months to 18 months!) and I decided it's just fine to keep swaddling her. She fights getting in it, but she sleeps like an angel and is happy when she wakes up in the morning. So our small victory: Maebry is sleeping in her crib and wears a sleeper under her swaddle sack. So long, newborn-bassinet and swaddling blankets. Hello . . . . . semi-swaddled girl :)

Saturday was a gloomy, rainy day but we made the most of it. We started the day at the Hope Ministries Walk A Mile in Their Shoes event in Pleasant Hill. It was awesome how the rain held off until most people had finished/almost finished the walk. We then spent some quality time with Maebry's cousin Isaiah who is 3 and a half, and that boy is adorable!! Isaiah started preschool recently, and he is talking so much more clearly and interacts differently. It's amazing. We had a blast, but I asked myself all afternoon "How do people REALLY do life with more than one child??? Especially when you can't be outside!"

Sunday was full of good intentions of going to church which were thwarted again with Maebry's schedule. Ugh, I wish we had multiple services! She is ready for her nap around 9:00 or 9:30 and church starts at 10. I'd love to just jump in the car and have her sleep while we're at church, but she wakes up. Immediately. She is not (so far) one of those babies who sleeps in the car and stays asleep in her car seat when you arrive to your destination. Nor does she go back down for a nap well, after having a mini cat-nap. So we enjoyed a quiet, cool (the weather was phenomenal!) morning at home and went out to run our errands later. We need to figure out how to navigate Sunday mornings better/differently. Chica may just have to miss her nap time and deal with it :)

Yesterday we dealt with a fussy baby almost all day. After trying everything we could think of, and getting her out and about and with different people, even going for a walk (which usually works like magic, but this time I ended up carrying her 10 minutes home while Marcus pushed the stroller) we put her to bed and crashed on the couch in exhaustion. Sometimes babies just wear.you.out. I told Marcus that I think I could handle it if a) she wasn't spitting up or b) she wasn't so fussy or c) she wasn't so clingy. When you combine all three of those at the same time, you have exhausted parents. But it's our current season, and we're trying to find moments of good to cling to! Like remembering how cuddly she was when she woke up and while we had breakfast. Or how she giggles when you tickle her pits. Or the stupid things I do that make Marcus and I laugh for minutes on end. We do have good times, they're just clouded by hectic baby-raising-ness right now :)

Alas, today it's back to work. I'm not going to lie, I was kind of grateful when I got in my car to go to work. Work has become a bit of a "break" for me. But only after a long or rough weekend. Most days I wish I could just be at home all day with Maebry, and taking care of home-things while Marcus works. I'm learning to strive to enjoy today for what it is, because when I think the grass is greener on the other side, it's usually just the same shade.

LABOR Day Weekend

2011-09-02T13:08:00.002-05:00

Labor = Work

And work we will this weekend!

My little sugar-plum has been swaddled since birth. However, as of late, she has been fighting us (to the point of screaming at times) about the swaddle, especially during naps. Little punkin sleeps wonderfully all swaddled up at night (up to 11 hours!!!) but we feel like she's becoming a big girl and ready for a change. She's also outgrowing her bassinet in the pack n' play and learning to roll over. Hence - we must move her to the crib. However, a swaddled, rolling baby in a crib = she could get stuck on her tummy with her arms pinned down. So . . . the time has come!

I've read it can take up to 3 days to change a baby's routine. So we're going to give it a-go this weekend and hope for the best. I forsee some sleepless nights (sad, since she's sleeping so well) and a bit of a struggle. Overall though, we are excited to see her eventually sleeping on her own in her crib without the swaddle.

Here goes nothin'!

Summuh-Time

2011-08-25T08:49:00.005-05:00

We have had a crazy summer. It has flown by. Sadly, not once, not once, have my toes dipped into a public pool. If you know anything about me, you know I am a fish out of water. I LOVE to swim! I love just sitting in water. Love it. Having a newborn however, has changed things for us this summer. We're slowly recovering and ready to start getting out more and more, but alas we are on the cusp of summer ending and fall beginning!

Any-who. Next year, we will be some of the first ones to enter the gates when they open :)

This past month we enjoyed watching Maebry turn three-months-old. While the spit up is ever-plentiful, she is becoming more joyful, outspoken, and a bit more flexible with her schedule. Plus we are becoming more brave and venturing out! We took two days to explore the Iowa State Fair, and it was time well-spent. Maebry was on sensory overload, so she missed her morning naps. While we dealt with her cranky pants later in the day, we really enjoyed seeing all that the Fair offers including cookies in a cup, tiny and huge animals, the world-famous butter cow, award-winning squash, lemonade with honey, and so much more.

The Giant Bull. Marcus was a bit intimidated.

I submitted my first-ever quilt to the fair. Though I didn't win an award, it was rewarding to see it displayed. Mine is the pink and blue one.

My sister-in-law won an Honorable Mention award for her watercolor painting. While checking that out we saw people live-sculpting out of sand. It was amazing!

I haven't been to the Fair since 2005, and I think I've been missing out. I don't know what it is, but something kept drawing me back this year. Perhaps I felt more ownership having submitted an item and having so many family members doing the same? Or maybe it was the scent of fried foods on a stick (including BUTTER on a stick this year!) or the cookies in a cup that kept coming back to my office every day, begging me to come and take part myself. The weather was also unusual in that it was not humid and AMAZING - perfect for walking around and fighting the huge crowds. Whatever it was, it will probably keep me coming back every year!

In other news we've had some fun family time. We celebrated Marcus' 28th birthday and this weekend will be celebrating my youngest sister's 24th birthday. I'm starting to feel so old! But life is good and it's fun to have Maebry along for the ride this year. She makes everything that much more enjoyable :)

The Brown Family

The Burrier Family

As summer wraps up and my energy is returning in full-force, we look forward to all that will take place this fall. I foresee campfires, hiking, playing in the leaves, long walks, our first road trip (to Illinois, woo!), exploring our new neighborhood library, introducing Maebry to more future best friends, and watching her grow. I'm thankful for this new season of life!

3 Month Update

2011-08-19T08:32:00.004-05:00

Oh, I have severely neglected my little ol' blog! I suppose 'tis the life of every new mom, trying to get priorities in order and merely survive the early days of parenthood!

Maebry is a precious, sweet, wonderful gift in our lives. As we hit the 3-month mark yesterday, we realized so much has changed and she's grown in so many ways! Here are some fun milestones we've recently hit:

We are grateful to be getting more solid sleep (girlfriend sleeps from about 9pm until 7:30)
We are thoroughly enjoying her new sounds (she giggles constantly, and "talks" to people all day long)
It's fun to see her exploring the world (she can now grasp her hands and other things around her, tracks things back and forth in front of her, sits up and stands with help, and she's lifting her head while on her tummy)
We are trying to be more brave about getting out of the house (we have no problem with it, but Little Miss is the BIGGEST spitter I've known. She makes fountains of spit-up and it can really ruin an outing/seeing others. Hopefully this will decrease as she gets older)
We are learning more about her (she is ticklish in certain spots, she definitely has mood swings, and she changes nearly every single day)
She is responsive (she recognizes Mom's voice and smiles at us all. the. time.)
She is loving (when you tease her she burrows her head in your chest and almost wraps her arms around us!)
She likes to make friends (she LOVES being around other babies, thinks Brinkley is crazy, and enjoys her pal Sophie being nuzzled under her arm)

It's hard to believe that 3 months ago, we were without our little girl in our arms. It has been one of the longest yet fastest summers of our lives (Summer? What summer? We missed the memo this year). We have learned a lot about each other, about parenting, about GRACE, and about how to live in "survival mode." As we enter her fourth month, we are hopeful that things will continue to get easier and will be a lot more enjoyable as we raise our Miss Mae. She is a delight and I can't wait to share more of her with you!

Maebry Joanne at 1 Month Old

Maebry at 2 Months Old

Maebry at 3 Months Old!

Returning to....Normal?

2011-07-11T10:07:00.002-05:00

Last Tuesday was my first day back on the job here at the office. Although it was a whirlwind of emotions and tears, I slowly adjusted as the week went on. And now with a weekend under my belt and coming back to work again today, I actually feel like life is returning to normal. Or a new normal, I should say!

Had you asked me last week I would have given anything to take a full-time position as a stay-at-home-mom. Now that I've gotten back into the groove of working, I can see why I'm here. I'm reminded of all the things I love about having this job, and it comforts me to know that if I can't be home with Maebry, at least I can be here and making a difference in people's lives, no matter how small it may seem.

And I've gotten this renewed sense of energy! Before when I was home every day, I felt like I needed a nap every time she slept. I had no energy to work on the house. I don't know what the change is, and you'd think it'd be less energy since I work all day, but I have a ton more energy now to do laundry, clean up the house, work on dishes, plan meals, even COOK! Yes, you read that right - I cooked my first meal yesterday in over 7 weeks!!! My method is finding things that can be made in under 10-20 minutes :) Hey, you gotta do what you've gotta do when you have a baby who needs all your attention in the evening. Last night we found it worked best for me to cook while Marcus feeds her, then while she's having awake time we both eat and take turns wiping up spit up or talking to her or playing peek-a-boo in her bouncy seat. It just wasn't working for us to wait for dinner until we put her down for a nap. By that time, it was already 7:00 and usually she doesnt want that last nap of the day, so one of us would inevitably spend our dinner time shoveling down bites of food while walking/rocking her in a futile attempt to get her to sleep. We'd rather have dinner while she's happy and then spend the remainder of the evening letting her nap or trying to soothe her through her fussy part of the day.

I'm grateful for this new start to the week. I'm deeply thankful for this renewed sense of energy as well. I think maybe part of it has to do with getting over the hill of the "unknown." I don't do well when I can see change coming, but I don't know how it will all work out. I was so worried/anxious last week about so many things for Maebry. Just wanting her to have 100% the best care in the world. Wanting her routine to stay fixed so she continues to be a happy baby and we can all get sleep during the night hours. Wondering how she'd do at daycare. Wondering how I'd feel or fit in back at my office. All of those things were spinning up in the air, and now I've experienced how it will work. It gives me greater peace, like I can finally rest. Maybe all the energy I was putting in to that is being transferred back to areas that really need my efforts.

Who knows. For now, we're starting a new week of "normal." Here we go!

Why I Enjoy Poopy Diapers (and other "new mom" moments)

2011-07-07T14:21:00.002-05:00

Blog? I have a blog?

I have certainly neglected this little piece of the web-o-sphere. Thank you to all who happen to check in on me now and again to see if something new has finally been posted. Today is your day!

Maebry Joanne turned 7 weeks yesterday. Seven weeks?!?! Where has the time gone. On about day 21, I remember someone saying you'll look back and wonder where these days went. Back then, I didn't believe them. It felt like every day was just. creeping. by. Time was moving slow, and Maebry was a handful, and I was exhausted. Today, seven weeks later, things have changed so much!

While I am still exhausted, it is less physical and more emotional. This week I was forced, due to our circumstances and need to earn a living, to return to work and leave Miss Maebry in the care of others. I have realized there is a whole new level of stress when you are a parent, working full time, and trying to "do it all." I've had to let things go as a new mom: for instance, my house is a pit but who cares! I used to complain about never getting out of the house and being home all day, and now I'd give anything to just stay put: i.e. packing up a baby and diaper bag and materials for an entire day takes a lot of time and brain-power to remember everything. I've learned I have really great friends, but I might not get to see them for awhile: Maebry is so much work at night we often spend 2 minutes of our dinner (who am I kidding, the morsels of food we can pull together to call a "meal" these days) together, the rest of the time trying to figure out how to calm her/get her to sleep for the night. I don't see us getting "out on the town" or even out to a friends' house for a few more weeks to come. And I've noticed a huge piece of me feels empty: I carried a baby inside me and now in my arms for the last 11 months, and now I only see her 5 hours a day max. We are separated. I feel deep longing and and a hollow place somewhere inside, just wanting to be with my baby. Emotional transition - this is huge.

There have been many funny and surprising moments though in the midst of all our change. Like the poopy diapers from the blog title. Marcus now refers to me as "Monica" from Friends because of my need for cleanliness (who am I kidding, it should really be cleanliness in a "particular" way!). Well, let's just say I've reached a whole new level of loving to clean: diapers. Poopy, full diapers. There's something exciting about having a huge mess to clean up (perhaps this is why we cycle through times of letting our house pile up and get messy, and then we do a huge day of deep-cleaning?) Miss Maebry can sure fill her pants, and I enjoy every minute of wiping out the crevasses and crannies and applying a brand new clean diaper. We smile, we coo, we giggle through all of it. Call me crazy.

There have been so many times when we sit together and just laugh, whether its the sounds she's making (she burps louder and harder than any man I know!), the smile on her face, or the streams of spitup running down her bib. I have great memories of Marcus doing whatever he can to get her to sleep, like walking around the house singing a made-up African chant in a girlish high pitch. We laugh all the time at how Maebry may grow up thinking she's a puppy, since Brinkley loves to give her "baths" each morning. Or how about the time I said "You are such a punk. Not a punkin, a PUNK" and her face broke out in the widest, most i'm-so-innocent smile? And don't forget about the rooster lip. Marcus was so stressed with her crankiness one night, until she let her lower lip poke out in the beginnings of one of the sweetest pre-cry ways, and it melted his heart. He decided from then on he'd do whatever she wants of him (wrapped around her little finger already!).

We love our little girl. We are stressed to the max and tired all the time, but we are deeply in love. Even with the "poopy" moments, we are finding joy in this crazy season.

One Month!

2011-06-20T07:40:00.003-05:00

We officially have a one-month-old baby girl! I can't believe we survived the first month. It has been so difficult, yet so incredibly rewarding and fun. I love Maebry and we are looking forward to many more months to come, getting to know her.

Here is our attempt at a one-month photo shoot. Getting a baby and a dog to sit still together was not easy! And the Cowboy's onesie is courtesy of my dad, who will forever be a Cowboys football fan. She wore it for him to celebrate Father's Day :) She wore another outfit, a dress, to celebrate Father's Day with Marcus' family, but alas by the time we got there she had spit up all over it and all over her carseat. That's right - we've got a happy spitter on our hands!

Happy One Month, Miss Maebry!

The Birth Story

2011-06-13T14:51:00.004-05:00

4 Weeks Ago . . .

At 11:59 p.m. on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 I woke with a very strange pain in my back and lower abdomen. Ouch, I thought, as I waddled my pregnant way to the bathroom. I really have to poop. I sat and passed some gas (TMI?) and tried to cope with my lethargic mind from only having been asleep about 50 minutes. I need to get back to sleep so I can be ready to go in the morning. We were to be induced at 7:30 a.m. the following morning and I was too restless to sleep. And having a hard time passing something out of my digestive track. Was it the hamburger I ate for dinner, I thought to myself, or the frozen yogurt from Lemon Tree? Either way it was worth it - I'd had the best "last evening" before our daughter was born. Great day walking around the lake with my husband and Brinkley, dinner and hanging out with my niece, nephew, and family and even got some sacred alone time with my husband sans the dog. All of these thoughts lingered with me as I headed back to bed with my upset stomach.

12:42 a.m. rolled around and I shot straight up in bed. OUCH. That time I said it out loud. The same cramping pain was there again, starting in my back and working its way around to my lower belly. I went again into the bathroom where I was this time able to pass some poo (yes, TMI!). I went quickly back to bed and tried to fall back asleep. However, five or six minutes later the same pain was back, and this time much sharper. I woke Marcus up with Babers, something isn't right. Are these contractions? I told him to go back to sleep and that I'd wake him up if anything more happened.

For the next hour I waddled my way around the house, pacing back and forth, back and forth. I turned on my contraction app on my phone and started to time the pain. Sure enough - the pain was coming every 4-6 minutes on average and was lasting a solid 60 seconds each time. This is it! I thought. My next idea was immediately How the HECK am I going to survive this? It's early on and these things KILL. With each contraction I fell to the floor on my knees in front of the couch. It hurt WAY too bad to stand up straight, and the only position with which to get my breathing going properly was from all fours. Yeesh.

45 minutes later we called my mom to tell her this is it - get on down to the hospital! I began to pray she would be alert enough to make the drive in the middle of the night. Our plan was to have Marcus and my mom with me for labor and delivery. My mom is a seasoned nurse and someone who's always been by my side when I'm sick. My husband knows me best, and my mom would be level-headed and inquisitive and helpful from a medical stand point. I felt certain we should make the trek in now, since these suckers were not going away. After walking through the house and grabbing all our bags and items, we headed for the door.
We arrived to the hospital around 2:00 a.m. on May 18, 2011 after pulling over three times to let a contraction pass. Had we driven through them I may have grabbed the steering wheel and caused an accident!! We pulled up to the entrance and quickly made our way inside. The man at the front desk took one look at me, and said Take the elevator to the third floor. I wonder if he'd seen me clutching my swollen belly or saw the death glare in my eyes. We rode the elevator slowly upstairs and approached the door. Marcus went in to begin paperwork for the admission process and I stopped into the bathroom. For some reason, I felt the biggest urge to poop. Little did I know this feeling would last for the next nine and a half hours. I wonder if anyone else in the world felt like they were literally going to poop their baby into existence? After another contraction in the bathroom and no poop, I joined Marcus at the front desk. Tamara helped me get the forms in order and I signed a couple papers before I said Uh oh here comes another one and quickly stooped down on all fours on the ground. I guess I freaked her out because she made a quick phone call for help and told us it wasn't the first close-call she's had before. I tried to explain this was the only position to survive the pain in, but it didn't help. She thought I was going to pop the baby out right then and there! If only, Tamara. If only . . .

Next thing I know, nurse Doreen was there with a wheel chair. I clambered up and sat down, panting with exhaustion and eagerness to get to our final destination. We wheeled around the third floor and ended up in room 3013. I took a quick glance around and checked how close the bathroom was in case the urge came again, then I climbed my way into the hospital bed. Not too soon after that, nurse Julie came in and we made our introductions. She asked me a million questions and we discussed my thoughts on the use of drugs/medications during labor. I voiced that I wanted to see how far I could go, but that I was completely open to taking medications at this point. Then we got to it - the internal check. Tuesday morning when I saw my doctor for a 41 week check-up, I was 3 cm and 90% effaced. Julie checked me at 4 cm and 100% effaced. Here we go, I thought, this is really happening! The contractions were remaining pretty steady at 4-5 minutes apart and were lasting a solid minute each time. The pain however, felt like it was steadily getting worse. With each burst of pain, I would grab the bed rail with one hand and reach out like a crazy woman with the other for anything to grab ahold of. At one point I reached out and grabbed Marcus' jeans, but I must've grabbed too high on his thigh. After that he decided we needed a new method for the grabbing! We rolled up a t-shirt from the bag and I used that to grab with my other free hand - kind of like a tug of war option. It helped tremendously and Marcus was thankful to have his body parts safe again from my grabby hands.

An hour after arriving at the hospital, around 3 a.m, Julie came in with some Fentanyl. It made me feel dizzy and strange, but it did take the edge off the pain for about a half hour. I remember asking Julie how long until I could have some more, and she said it should last about an hour and a half. Yeah, I thought, that's not happening. I could already feel the contraction pain coming back just as strong as before. I had moved to my other side and was trying new positions to cope with the pain but nothing would bring any sort of relief to the pain in my tailbone and abdomen. I was thankful for Julie's expertise - she had been a nurse for some 20 years I think, and she had great advice for how to better breathe through each contraction. Without that coaching I think I would have started struggling a lot sooner, mentally.

Well, I lasted through the contractions until roughly 4 a.m. when Julie asked me again about an epidural. I didn't even hesitate - I told her let's do it. The anesthesiologist was in shortly after, and although I thought the pain from that enormous needle and the position in my back would be super painful and scary, it was nothing. Nothing compared to the contraction pains! I think I had one more big one before I could feel my lower body going numb. The relief that came with was fantastic and I have no regrets about it. I had labored strongly for three and a half hours and was ready for some physical relief. Julie checked me again at 4:45 and I was around 6-7 cm. After she inserted the catheter we turned off all the lights and tried to get some sleep. I tried as hard as I could, but sleep would elude me. I spent those early morning hours updating the world about our status and looking out the window while praying. I remember being so thankful, so anxious, so excited for this day in our lives. I remember thinking Today is my daughter's birthday. I remember giggling and thanking God for His funny timing - we had been praying I wouldn't have to be induced, and here I was, going into labor naturally. His faithfulness and nearness in that was amazing and at the same time made me laugh. We beat the induction by mere hours!

Around 7 a.m. Julie came in again to announce that Dr. Booth was coming in for the day shift and would be in shortly to check on me. She also informed me that she would not be there for the birth of our child, as her shift was coming to a close. I remember being sad about that - when you work so hard at something, with someone who was such a great coach, you want them to be there. To see the work through to completion. Would I get along with this next nurse just as easily as with Julie? We said our farewells and I enjoyed another half hour of pain-free, pressure-sensations-only time on the epidural.

At 7:30 a.m. nearly on the dot, I remember the pain returning in my tailbone and rectum area. It was pretty distinct and coming on regular intervals, so I knew it was in line with each contraction. This was the beginning of the end for me with the epidural's magic. When our new nurse Georgeanne came in, she checked me and we learned I was around 9 cm with just a strip of cervix left to go. I asked her about bolstering the epidural for more relief and that's when the bomb was dropped. Georgeanne explained that some women have back labor, but that was not my case. We were confident the baby was head down, facing toward my back - the perfect delivery position. However, some women have a pelvis that's shaped and positioned in such a way that when the baby passes into the birth canal, she will feel the pain strongly and almost entirely against the tailbone area. And bomb of all bombs: epidurals do not cover this pain. Awesome, I thought. Georgeanne looked me straight in the eyes and said You're one of the lucky ones.

Around 8:00 a.m. four nurses arrived to my room with a large table and began assembling a handful of equipment. All I saw was a cluster of activity and I heard the clanging of metal contraptions. I asked my mom what was going on, and she said they were preparing for the delivery. If I could have, I would have sat straight up in the bed because I could not believe it was time for that! I hadn't even seen the doctor yet. She said there was no need to worry, it would still be a long time. They just like to have things ready to go. Dr. Booth finally came in around 8:30 and that's when her and Georgeanne said it was time to start pushing. I remember mentally freaking out at this point, I was so unprepared for those words, for that transition to the last phase of labor!! I started to cry in disbelief and excitement. But the tears quickly dissipated when I got down and dirty with this business they call "pushing." Let's just say it's more like pain in which your eyes might pop out, or your veins may burst, or you feel extreme pressure and pain like you STILL might poop this baby into existence! And it comes every 2-3 minutes. In my case, it lasted around 2 hours and 50 minutes. Pain like I've never felt; certain I may break my tailbone; sushing everyone in the room so I could focus and scream into the silence. With every moment of this pushing I willed her to be born.

Finally around 11:10 a.m. my doctor said we had two options. I could continue to push for another half-hour or so, or she could intervene with a pair of forceps and help things along to fruition. I didn't think I could last another half-hour, but she told me to keep trying things on my own. I think we made it about 3 more contractions when she made an executive decision to intervene. My temperature was suddenly on the rise and our daughter's heartrate started to spike. In that moment there were suddenly 4 nurses surrounding the doctor, my mom, and
Marcus. With the very next contraction - the forceps were used and there was a strange and very large burst of pressure as my daughter's head was released from the birth canal. I remember a nurse jumping on the bed in order to help pull her out, and all I could hear from my husband was Oh Kel. . . oooooh Kel . . . Ohhh! Probably a good thing I couldn't see the reality of what was going on down there. In a matter of seconds the rest of her burst forth, the doctor had a sudden struggle like she was slippery and almost flopped away, but then she was directly on my stomach and the birth was over.

I reached out with both hands to touch her, this blob of flesh, blood, and mucus, uncertain what to do. I was too shocked to cry, too overwhelmed to realize she wasn't making any noise, and too unprepared to hold her in my arms. All I could do was stare at this new human body on my abdomen and touch her with the palms of my hands and my fingers. Like reaching out to tentatively touch something you've never felt before. It all lasted a matter of moments before they whisked her away to be put on an oxygen mask (she was breathing very soon after that), cleaned up, and checked over.

And that, my friends, is the story of how miss Maebry Joanne Burrier came to be born into this world, on Wednesday morning, May 18, 2011 at 11:20 a.m. She weighed 8 pounds 10 ounces and was measured at 21 inches long. She had a full head of dark brown hair, ten fingers and ten really long toes.

I will spare you the rest of the recovery details, but let's just say they include a 4th degree tear (google it, I dare you), 6 catheters - 2 of which I would wear at home - for 9 days, impacted bowels that had to be removed by an emergency room nurse, a baby who couldn't poop until I stopped a medication, learning to breastfeed, and trying to care for a newborn while your hormones have dropped to a near-depression level. Yeesh. It was a rough 3 weeks for this mama! However, we are on the eve of Maebry's one-month birthday and I will say things have gotten immensely better!

I must say a HUGE thank you to the following people:

My husband Marcus. Without him by my side, I may have collapsed numerous times and given up. He was my great coach during labor and delivery; he held me tight while I screamed through hours of painful impacted bowels and then while I screamed during the removal at the ER; he changed more diapers than I by the time we got home from the hospital; he has been an amazing dad with Maebry; he sacrifices a LOT in order to provide for our family. I love you babers!
My mom. She is amazing and sacrificial. She was by my side at the hospital until her birth into this world. My mom was there for us for an entire week upon arrival home to help with anything and everything, including things I will probably never know she did. Thank you for the loads of laundry, the homemade meals, holding my child, encouraging me through breastfeeding, helping me take naps when needed, giving baths, being with our child while I was in the ER, and being an awesome Grandma. I love you!
The nurses at Mercy Hospital. I am so thankful for each one of them, from the labor/delivery nurses to the recovery room nurses. They were great coaches, they comforted me with their advice and know-how, and their care over us was top-notch. I am especially thankful for Brittany who helped me with breastfeeding and with all the many trips into the bathroom. There are so many great, caring people who work there.
My family members. So many people came to our house and dug in to do whatever they could find to help with. More laundry, cleaning our house, cleaning my oven which hadn't been touched in MONTHS, making up ice packs, making meals, being with Maebry while I slept, and keeping me company. I am deeply grateful for such an awesome, awesome family network!
My small group and friends from church. We have had meals provided for us for the past 4 weeks and it has been a lifesaver! I don't know how we would've eaten otherwise. Thank you for the many delicious meals, for keeping us company and meeting our Maebry girl. Their sacrifice of time and cooking blessed us tremendously. I love the people that surround us in this way!
Moms in my life who have shared their experiences. You know who you are, and you have helped me survive the most troublesome month of my entire life! Without the advice of these moms, I probably would have gone insane. It was good to hear that I wasn't alone in my thoughts, in my circumstances, in my emotions. The advice I received help me let go of deep guilt, helped me try and stay positive, and helped me get through some tough moments of becoming a mommy. Thank you, friends!

Well, I'm off to tend to my cooing baby girl. She is a precious gem and I am forever grateful to have her in my life. Being a mommy is tough work, but it was deeply gratifying and rewarding. Here I come, Miss Maebry!

41 Weeks (about 3 weeks later)

2011-06-08T09:20:00.002-05:00

Finally! A few moments to blog while Little Miss sleeps. We are adjusting to life at home :) I hope to have her birth story up sometime in the near future. For now, here is my final and last pregnancy update - from 3 weeks ago!

41 Weeks!

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: After seeing our doctor one last time, we went into a special room to be hooked up to a non-stress-test monitor for the baby's heartrate. She ranged from about 127 to 160 at her most active. I had to drink some juice to get her moving - baby girl was sleepy!
Movement: The movement inside had slowed down quite a bit. The only consistent movement I received was kicks to my right ribs. I could grab on to something- we are now pretty certain it was her heel :) Also I had been feeling more pressure downwards on our walks. At our Tuesday appointment, we learned we were 3 cm and 90% effaced. They "scratched the membranes" again to see if we could jump start labor.
Sleeping: Pretty sleepless nights - mostly anxious about when baby girl will arrive!
Weight Gain: 29.6 pounds.
Mood: Happy, content, expectant, and anxious to get this thing started.
Dreams: No real big dreams the last week of pregnancy.
Weeks Along: 41/40 - officially "past-due!"
Photo: We took this before our final long-walk together on Tuesday. I had to borrow Marcus' t-shirt which was still a stretch :)

And We've Reached The End...We Hope!

2011-05-10T09:00:00.003-05:00

40 WEEKS!

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: Not sure. Our doctor said "It sounds like she's content in there" and the heartbeat sounded like it usually does.
Movement: Since Saturday she has been moving in new ways! I definitely felt a distinct change of where her head is positioned and can tell she's dropped into place. I have a bit more pressure there, and her kicks have moved down slightly to the bottom of my ribs now. She's making her way toward the exit! Yesterday's appointment showed a lot of progress in one week: I've gone from 1 to 3cm, and 0% to 80% effaced!
Sleeping: Up every hour, and some nights I've read a book for 2-3 hours! I've adjusted to this new norm. However, the last couple days have been full of more sleep, which is a blessing especially if labor is imminent these next few days!
Weight Gain: 30.2 pounds. Right in the mid-range for expected gain. But I'm starting to feel it!
Mood: Expectant. Each day I daydream about various ways I'll go into labor. All day long I have people who ask about it, tell me their stories, give suggestions, or text to see how I'm doing. It's exciting but I am constantly at the edge of my seat, ready and waiting for it to happen!
Dreams: They continue to be odd, when I get enough sleep. I've actually been thankful for the nights I don't sleep long enough because I don't dream! It gives my brain a rest.
Weeks Along: 40.3/40 - officially "overdue!"
Photo: The first is from Mother's Day, our official Due-Date. The other is from this morning, 2 days overdue :)

39 Week Update

2011-05-04T10:44:00.004-05:00

39 WEEKS!

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: Not sure. But we listened to it, the Dr. said it was perfect. I was asking too many questions during that part, but forgot to ask her rate.
Movement: Lots of fun nudges and I can tell when she's trying to wriggle and twist in there. It's just so cramped at this point! A few nights ago Marcus felt her foot on my rib and it seemed she was playing with him - I loved watching him love that moment :)
Sleeping: I don't know if I really sleep anymore. Ha! It's such an unnatural season for me. I love me my sleep, and now it's a fleeting friend. But I'm surviving. As long as I'm not driving 20 minutes or more, I can stay awake just fine.
Weight Gain: 28.4 pounds. After two weeks of no gain, I gained three pounds in one week!
Mood: Anxious and excited jumbled together. I'm anxious to meet her, anxious about labor, and yet I have such great excitement about these last days alone with Marcus, and excitement over our birth story.
Dreams: I had a dream the other night with co-workers doing silly things (Alyssa was running at 25 mph beside my car, Brendan was directing traffic), and last night my dream included the cast of Friends. So strange and bizarre!
Weeks Along: 39.5/40
Photo: I'm thankful for spring weather and dresses!

38 Weeks!

2011-04-28T11:05:00.002-05:00

38 WEEKS!

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: 135. This is the lowest I've had - is that normal that it lowers as baby grows?? I'm not worked up about it, just wondering. The nurse practitioner I saw let me listen for a long time. I love hearing the heartbeat!
Movement: Lots of steady nudges and kicks to the right rib/side. Yesterday I tried to measure how long her foot was, it was sticking out so distinctly! Otherwise, she seems wedged into a permanent position so movement is still there, just less dance-like and more nudge-like.
Sleeping: I'm adjusting. I'll have a terrible night, then I'll have a really good one. I've realized my body is doing what it needs to do, and I just have to go with it!
Weight Gain: 25.4 pounds. I've stopped gaining much at all, but the doctors keep saying I'm ok and everything's normal.
Mood: I'm feeling content today. We've selected a name (finally), I feel rested from a few days off, and physically I'm not in too much pain thanks to my chiropractor. However, I'm more snarky - I need to be careful not to make my husband edgy! Mood swings seem to be more frequent at home :)
Dreams: I had an odd one last night. Had to ask Marcus if it was real - it seemed so real! But I've noticed I've stopped dreaming when I don't sleep enough. Dreaming has toned down as I hit these final weeks.
Weeks Along: 38.8/40
Photo: I'm finally feeling the bulge! And I'm trying really hard to make my maternity clothes stretch these last few days :)

37 Week Update

2011-04-20T09:49:00.003-05:00

37 Weeks!

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: 120-145 (As we listened, her heartbeat went up and down, based on her being active and then settling. It was the first time anyone had said that low of a number, but the gal said it was normal, so I calmed down!)
Movement: Her kicks now make me gasp for air. Especially those to the ribs! I can grab her foot and feel its shape, often pushing it back into my tummy where it belongs. It's pretty amazing, I will never get sick of it. Yesterday I had a day off and spent half the day laying around. She moved the most I've felt her this late in pregnancy, so it was kind of a "bonding day" for us :)
Sleeping: I'm exhausted. Period. I cannot sleep due to frequent urges to pee (even when i don't drink anything past 7!); deep aches in both my hips; and anxiety about labor/delivery. Lately I've been laying awake with various scenarios playing out in my mind - I've got to stop this! I think as it gets closer I'm just naturally wondering what our story will be.
Weight Gain: 25 pounds. Stayed the same as last week, but gained another cm in my belly size :)
Mood: According to my husband, I've started becoming more short with my words. I need to be careful that sleep deprivation and discomfort do not come out as harsh words to those I love! I'm thankful for his honesty so I can check myself and deal with it in the moment. Otherwise, I'd say a healthy dose of anxiousness mixes in with my mood lately.
Dreams: Not as often, but when I do they are super strange. People from all over my life creep in, especially those I havent seen or thought about for YEARS. Or they are really deep and meaningful - last week I had a dream about a couple people at work, and our conversation was really impacting.
Weeks Along: 37.5/40
Photo: Didn't get a self-photo in this week, but I did have my last baby shower! Thanks to some great gals in my small group, we had a relaxing Saturday morning gathering. I felt so blessed! Meredith got creative and made these super-cute muffins, and the photo is all the gals who attended.

**Side Note: Thanks everyone for your feedback about the "internal exams." Though my second one was uncomfortable and a bit painful, the doctor was WAY more sensitive and took time to talk me through things. I don't think the pain will decrease, but at least I could walk pain-free when I left the office and felt a lot more respected/cared for! And I am still at 1cm so no more progress...yet!

36 Week Update

2011-04-12T09:39:00.004-05:00

36 WEEKS!

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: 145
Movement: Not as frequent as her flips and turns, but the kicks are there and getting STRONGER. These days I can grab onto her little foot near my rib. It's so cool!!! This may be the only time I get to say pain is cool :) After 2 doctors appointments, we are confident her head is down and her butt/feet are up - which means we're in prime position for delivery.
Sleeping: I'm exhausted. I could close my eyes and sleep multiple times a day. Alas, I am still at work, but I'm surviving! It's amazing how little sleep I can actually function with. My nights are typically bedtime between 8:30 and 9:30, and I wake every couple hours for a pee and to roll over. My hips are incredibly painful and it's impossible to lay on my back. So flipping back and forth it is!
Weight Gain: 25 pounds to date.
Mood: Mentally a bit broken up. I had a really horrible doctors appointment yesterday. Everything is great and fine with me and baby - I'm actually dilated to 1-2 cm already!! However, my doctor was one I do not want to see again. I've seen her twice and do not like her manner and physical insensitivity. The appointment was over an hour behind, so I was already anxious/tense/uncomfortable from sitting naked on the table with no back support. When she finally came in she was quick with everything, and as she used her hand to look for the head positioning, I was cringing from how hard she was pushing on my abdomen. She gave me no warning about what she was about to do for the internal check, and ugh - it was miserable. I was in actual PAIN and told her out loud, but she just kept going. And she had the nerve to say "It's going to hurt this bad each time, so you should get used to it." I sat in the room and cried after she left, and I went home and cried for like 2 hours, along with having pain when I walked. I called today to complain and changed an upcoming appointment with her to be with someone else - I am PRAYING HARD that she is not on call on my delivery day. I know for a fact that it's just her, because I have had PLENTY of pelvic exams in the last couple years - and none have been more painful or left me with pain like this. None. I know it can be better. And the last dr. I saw was gentle and it was easy for her to find baby's head without digging around. Yuck - I'm glad this is behind me. I'm glad for advice to be an advocate for myself, to call and tell the office about it and change my appointment.
Dreams: I'm still having strange dreams, but I've gotten so used to it that I don't really think about it anymore. Only when it's something really bizarre or about someone I havent seen or talked to in forever. And sometimes I don't sleep long enough anymore to even dream. Things are changing!
Weeks Along: 36.3/40
Photo: Taken this morning. Check out my puffy, sleepy eyes from crying. Bah! Today is a new day, I'm feeling a lot better, so no worries!

Pregnancy Hunger

2011-04-06T13:40:00.003-05:00

Being pregnant and toward the end of the third trimester is playing with my hunger patterns! I'm definitely starting to have some strange cravings, mostly wanting odd combos of food at the same time. I will say though, that I've rarely fulfilled these cravings and it's probably a good thing in the end! Like today, for example: I was feeling super hungry for a Subway sandwich, which I purchased. However, I also wanted a vanilla shake and french fries. Sounded SO GOOD! But I denied myself the latter two and went with a Subway sandwich. Not just your typical 6" though - I went for the FULL FOOTLONG! Mmm, I could eat that all day long today. Especially the combo of veggies - piled it on high! In fact, I could probably just eat a heaping bowl of spinach, green peppers, jalepeño peppers, tomato and lettuce swirled with dijon mustard.

Weird right?

And ps: I am still hungry. So now I'm snacking on peanut m&m's like I never ate lunch :) And I'm super thirsty. I drank 40 oz of water for the first half of the day and I'm draining away my next 40.

Being pregnant is so strange! I marvel at the changes in the human body. And continue to marvel that there is new life growing in my belly!!!

Remodel

2011-04-05T08:53:00.003-05:00

Marcus has been working fervently since January to remodel our bedroom closet. In my naive mind, I thought it would take a month or so to complete. Ha! Wishful thinking :) Learned a lesson in home remodeling. When you work full time and only have a couple hours at home each night, it makes progress a bit slow. But in the end - we love it and I'm thankful we did it before baby came, so we could make loud noise and move things around our house with greater ease.

BEFORE - the closet on the left; entryway on the right.

AFTER - look at all that space we gained!

Somehow our room feels a lot larger and more "open." I love the fresher colors of paint and having new window blinds too - it was a perfect change for Spring!

Now we're moving on to the baby's room with hopes of having that complete this weekend or next. Photos to come!

34 Weeks

2011-04-01T17:25:00.001-05:00

I almost missed the 34 week update! I'm now on the cusp of week 35. I am not yet experiencing the "I wish this was over" phase - I more seem to wish it would slow down! I think the pace of my job and life has this season moving faster than I'd like. Trying to soak in each and every day!

34 Weeks!!

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: 140. The doctor I had this week: hands down my FAVORITE yet. Sadly, I won't see her again unless she delivers (I'm praying for this!). She listened for the heartbeat, then moved it around so we could hear it stronger/louder. It was amazing! She had a spike at one point - of excitement - then went back down near 140. So so cute.
Movement: All the time, any time. I love this! It makes me yelp and squinch in pain sometimes, but it's so worth it. The doctor discovered Little Miss is head-down, with her head very low near my pelvis. Her back and butt are off toward my left side/ribs and her little feetsies are toward my right ribs. No wonder I am CONSISTENTLY kicked in those ribs. Today, from about 9 a.m. until 1 p.m. she kicked them. At one point Emily and I (a student from work) could feel her foot almost IN my rib. Wowzers.
Sleeping: Difficult. I keep trying to lay on my back, because my hips ache SO BADLY. But alas, I cannot breathe and I feel light-headed, so I roll to the other side. My nights now look like: sleep an hour, roll to back, roll to side, get up to pee. Repeat 5-6x :)
Weight Gain: 21.4 pounds. Gained just 2 in the last couple weeks. It's amazing - because I am eating like a horse!! I am so very hungry these days, and anything and everything sounds tasty. Even weird combos, like I could eat pizza AND a cheeseburger. Or I could eat a fruit smoothy AND two sub sandwiches. Nom-nom, baby girl and I are hungry! Our faves as of late are anything fruity, vanilla shakes, and sandwiches of any kind.
Mood: Exhausted. These past two weeks of work have been killer - I've worked a lot of overtime. It won't stop for another 2 weeks so I'm mentally trying to prepare. But I am just plain burnt-out. Makes me extra sensitive, extra teary, and a little snippy. Sorry for that, everyone!
Dreams: Still occurring regularly. The other day I dreamt my dad killed a huge hopping mammoth of a spider, and I just laughed. I HATE spiders. I woke up confused and looking for spiders everywhere I went :)
Weeks Along: 34.9/40
Photo: Not the best shot of the belly, since I was going for comfortable that day! But I'm definitely thinking the next photo will REALLY show you how much this belly is gaining in size! It's amazing. Every day I look in the morning I think "Wow, I'm REALLY pregnant. This is really happening!" It's something I will never stop being thankful for, ever. Even when it's gone. Even if it never happens again. I will remember these days with gladness.

For Japan

2011-03-17T14:33:00.005-05:00

Am I the only one who sees the news, the images, the updates about Japan and just feels utterly helpless? Desiring to be there and dive in with relief effort or comforting the hurting with a hug, or just ANYTHING more than doing nothing? That's me these days. I love Japan and the people there. I have a lot of friends and connections (thankfully almost all of them were unharmed or unaffected). For those who were affected, it's hard to sit here and watch it unfold while they live it out.

So when I ran across this today, I was intrigued. Simply because I have a blog, and I have a few readers. I'm joining in this small, tiny way to show I love Japan and want to raise awareness.

Friday, March 18, 2011 (tomorrow) is an official Bloggers Day of Silence. The aim is simply to raise awareness and respect, and to acknowledge the devastation still going on in Japan. For anyone out there with a blog, maybe this is something you might consider joining and sharing in as well. I know I don't blog on a daily basis, but tomorrow I will be thinking of the country and the purpose for not blogging, at least for this one day.

If you want to go one step further, you can even donate a Shelter Box (click the link there to check it out) for families affected by the disaster. Each box is tailored to specific types of disaster and usually contains a tent, blankets, water storage, cooking utensils, tools, kids activity pack, and so on for extended families. Pretty sweet. You can also contribute a one-time $10 donation to ShelterBox with a simple text.

For more information about these options, check out this website here.

Also, I have heard from a friend who lives there that there's a more accurate source for news. Here in the West, we tend to get unreliable information and sensationalism in the news, unfortunately. If you're interested in keeping up with the latest happenings, check out this source straight from Japan, and as a bonus it's in English :) I've been watching it a little today, and it's way better than CNN.

Thanks, friends.

32 Week Update

2011-03-17T10:41:00.004-05:00

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: 150-160. The doctor I saw this week (I rotate through the group of Dr's so I get to know them all, I think there's 6 in total) was kind of stern-mannered, but really great with the heartbeat. We listened for about 45 seconds, instead of the normal 5-10 seconds. I love every moment of that!
Movement: As she's getting stronger and more developed, she's letting me know it. All morning I've had steady kicks to the right rib, some making me yelp out loud. Last night she also moved in a distinct way that my hand arched up over it - pretty sure I had ahold of a knee or an elbow! It's amazing and I'm thankful for the lost sleep so I can be assured she is alive and well.
Sleeping: Still getting up consistently throughout the night, but I'm adjusting to the lesser amount of sleep. My hips ache SO BAD though, and I have to flip myself over each time I wake up.
Weight Gain: 19.4 pounds (I was prepared for more, but only 1.4 in the last 2 weeks. It fluctuates so much appointment to appointment!)
Mood: Steady. These last two weeks have been less-emotional than previous weeks. I'm starting to feel the urge to "nest" a lot of times, but I'm all caught up with what I can do until Marcus finishes our bedroom. This weekend is our goal!
Dreams: Still dreaming every night. Last night was my first dream of the baby, but I can't say it was a good one. She had dark hair, a mole near her eyebrow, and was so heavy I couldn't lift her! And she had a really boney bottom. And she wasn't breastfeeding b/c they had to put me out for the first day after delivery and we never figured out how to make it work. Her name was Sophie, which is not on our list at all. WEIRD!!! There were other strange details to the dream, but I will not go there. Just too bizarre to make sense of with words.
Weeks Along: 32.5/40
Photo: I had to use the self-timer this morning since Marcus was gone already. You can see the flowers he gave me (still blooming!) from our anniversary and a few gifts for tonight's family birthday celebration. I keep waiting for my belly to "pop out" and fully expect that in these next 7 weeks!

Year Six

2011-03-11T12:17:00.003-06:00

Marcus had his sister deliver these to my office today, along with Miya and Isaiah. A perfect surprise for the day!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Marcus and I are celebrating SIX YEARS of marriage today! We are now on the back half of a decade :) Time has gone fast, and yet we have done so much and experienced a lot in that amount of time.

I certainly will not claim to be an expert in marriage. These six years have been full of plenty of ups and the same amount of downs. We have climbed mountains together (literally and figuratively) and we've enjoyed the views from the top. I think we would both agree that the work and effort we put into it has its rewards.

In six years I feel like I've learned so much from my husband. Here are just a few things that come to mind as I reflect today:

He is steadfast, probably one of the most steadfast people in my life. He is assured of his love for me, which in turn assures me of his love! It's the deepest blessing to never have to worry about how my man feels about me.
He is others-centered. Marcus will drop anything and everything (including our present conversations) to meet the needs of others. He cares more about their feelings and their well being than his own, sometimes to his own detriment. But it's a beautiful thing to see a man lay down his own desires and time to jump in and help out others.
He is faithful. I didn't say he's perfect, but he is definitely faithful. Marcus loves the Lord with all his heart, and with his life. He always wants to seek the Lord or return to seeking the Lord and that displays great trust to me. He can be trusted to do what he says (unless you talk to him while he's playing on his phone and not really listening :)) and he is really reliable.
He is caring. I love watching Marcus play with Brinkley and take care of her throughout the week. He loves her and is tender with her, and he's super playful and loves giving her attention. In my mind, this is a small peak into the kind of father he will be. He is also caring toward me when I am sick, when I am sad, and even on regular basis in how he says hello and goodbye each day. I'm blessed to have a sensitive, caring husband.
He is handsome. I love my husband and I love looking at him. I love sidling up alongside him when we are in public (although sometimes he avoids PDA - tee hee!). He has the most handsome, tanned forearms in the summer, and at all times of year I love his shaply legs! TMI? Too bad. It's how I feel. Sometimes I'm jealous though. Like I always ask for a leg transplant - they are just so perfect. And that face! I love my husband, he's just so handsome.
He is forgiving. This is something Marcus excels at, something that I always wish I could be better at. He is quick to forgive, quick to offer forgiveness, and quick to move on. I like to hold tight, stew on things. I like to beat it to a pulp before I let it go. Not healthy, I know. But in light of Marcus and his ability and displays of forgiveness, it refines me. I hope this is an area I continue to be refined in.

There are so many other aspects to highlight, but these are the things I've loved about life with my husband. Six years of marriage to a quality man makes me really thankful. I am grateful for all we've endured and experienced together in the past, and now as we prepare to be parents for the first time, I am anticipating the future. These next years will be different than any before, so I'm thankful for the foundation that's been laid for us to move through life together on.

Love you babers, Happy Anniversary!!

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2011-03-08T08:54:00.002-06:00

Even though it's supposed to rain and snow here through tomorrow, the low never dips below 30 degrees. Spring MUST be just around the corner!
Ever since cleaning up dog vomit this morning, I can't stop shaking and feeling nauseous. How in the world am I going to be a good mommy when my kiddos throw up? It will probably be Marcus who holds their hair back, who rubs their backs, who gets a cold washcloth, who cleans it up. He's got such a strong stomach.
Did Raechel Ray get rid of her crossword puzzles?? I may stop reading her magazine if this is true.
I've been to the bathroom twice since arriving at work...53 minutes ago :) Somehow, my bladder is still shrinking!
I'm tired of people being so concerned about their weight. Especially people who are twigs. Hello, I'm gaining weight DAILY - let's try another topic of conversation.
Chiropractic care is amazing. I kid you not - it's entirely worth it. Last night my chiropractor was adjusting me (it's amazing how he can still adjust pregnant women who cannot lay on their stomachs!) and noticed swelling at my ankles. I had not written this down or noticed it, but he spotted it on his own. He did a strange adjustment to the middle of my chest and it was very, very tender. He said my "aalkjerlkjls lymphonic gland" or some garble like that was not working. When Marcus asked what function that is, he said I'm not draining properly, hence the swelling at my feet. After a somewhat uncomfortable adjustment, my ankles went back to normal. Right before our eyes. I'm just amazed at how our body communicates with itself and if your spine and nerves are properly aligned, you can have normal health. No medications, no medical interventions, just simple adjusting. I continue to be amazed and thankful, especially during pregnancy when my body is the most uncomfortable, ever-changing in size and things are happening inside that affect my body's normal functions.
My friend Rachel is taking photos today for something awesome. . . but I don't know what. I can't wait to hear/see! (Rach if you're reading this...)
Last night I had a dream that I was a man, tall and lean with dark longer hair, learning to air surf. Yeah, I know - what the heck is air surf, and why was I a man in my dream??? We were standing on top of a two-story building overlooking the ocean and the instructor was teaching us how to read the wind. Our boards were taller than us and shaped like a surfboard only arched upward at the ends, so you could stand on one end and hold the tip of the other end. We had to look at the sun, determine how the wind was blowing, and jump facing straight into the wind. I jumped without hesitating and landed perfectly on the water, the wind carrying my board for a ways. Then I woke up to Marcus and Brinkley walking around. Pregnancy dreams have been extremely vivid, strange, and entertaining!
I love my husband. Even when he makes jokes every other sentence, I love him.
Is today over yet? I'm over the work day. I want to be home with a good book and cuddling my sick puppy (who hopefully stopped throwing up after I left for work). Soon enough, I suppose.
That's all for this morning. I have cleared the thoughts on my brain!

Women!

2011-03-07T15:51:00.003-06:00

I had one of the best weekends I've had lately.

Saturday morning we drove up to Boone for a duel baby shower. Unknown to me, one of the gals had gone into labor at 7:30 a.m that morning! Sadly she missed the shower, but it was awesome to receive the news in the midst of gift opening that her baby boy had arrived! What timing :) Although I was sad to miss Lindsey at the shower, I loved helping make Katie feel special with the simple acts of gift giving, prayer, and just being a presence. It was also fun talking to some friends from home who are in the early stages of parenting newborns. I'm learning so much! I walked away from the shower too, realizing what a blessing it was to be in the midst of old and new faces from my home church body. There are so many women who have a caring heart, who literally shower blessing on others, who care about me no matter how many months have passed since our last interaction, who are in various ages and stages of life, and who just cherish each other. Some of these women have been faces I've known from church since the beginning - way back in 6th grade! These women have known me through my good times and bad, have mentored me and helped me grow and prepare for life, some have become new acquaintances and some I just met for the first time. You know you are in a good body of community when you leave not feeling overwhelmed by 30 some women, but feeling deeply, deeply loved and cared for by them. This to me is a true showing of beauty, of womanhood, and the body of Christ living out His love.

We also had a fun time as a family in the afternoon, with lots of laughter and goofy moments, of course. I love my family!!

Sunday I got my hair cut (photos to come w/ next week's update!) and had some good quality time with the gal who cuts my hair. We had great conversation and to my amazement, she asked that I donate my payment straight to our church. She is awesome and does a great job cutting hair! We talked a lot about her birthing story and labor, which was really helpful for me. I've gathered quite a long list of the experiences of others - fully knowing that my own will be unique, but it's really encouraging to hear what people survive!!!

Sunday afternoon was spent with a lot of women from my church here in Des Moines. We came together to have a baby shower for a gal who is new to Westwind, and who is on the verge of becoming a single mommy. With great vulnerability and honesty, she shared her story of how she came to be pregnant and what God has been doing in her life. I am so, so humbled by the power of God in the lives of women I'm around! We gathered together and prayed over her and the baby and gave gifts, and of course there were hours of gab with the girlies. I didn't know too many people, but it was really fun to meet some new gals and get to know a few more women at Westwind. When I sat there and looked around the room, I saw so much potential for this area of our church. Potential for us to grow, to get to know one another on deeper levels, to become like the generations of women in Boone at my home church. We're still so young (only a 3-year-old church) so we've got room to grow. It's exciting!

It was just a good, refreshing weekend for my heart and soul.

Fact or Myth?

2011-03-03T08:06:00.003-06:00

Here's the question I googled this morning:

"Do pregnant women grow taller?"

For the past couple weeks when Marcus and I are getting ready for work together, we find ourselves standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom. We've been noticing that either I look taller or he looks shorter. So today, we finally took out the measuring tape and did a test. We measured three times and each time I measured half an inch taller!!!

Is this for real?

I've been 5' 5" since I was eleven, in sixth grade. I can remember my pediatrician saying I'd be tall because I had big feet. My height allowed me to play forward position in basketball in elementary and AAU because I was one of the tallest girls in my class. When sixth grade hit though, I was one of those girls who got their period at a young age. And that's when the growth suddenly stopped. Never kept the roll as tallest girl in my class, never played basketball as forward beyond eighth grade, and my pediatrician was wrong - I was just an average-height gal with big feet :)

So I had to find out, is this true? Is it possible for pregnant women to grow or shrink in height due to pregnancy? Google wasn't much help, and it's all opinion anyway. All I can say is I'm definitely taller than I was a few months ago, and it's noticeable to my husband. There was only 1/4 of an inch separating our height, but now it's more like 3/4 of an inch! We think maybe the way she's growing and taking up space in my abdomen has helped me with my posture. Perhaps I'm just sitting and standing half an inch taller than usual. Who knows. And maybe this will all fade away once she's born.

30 Week Update

2011-02-28T16:16:00.004-06:00

I just realized I haven't blogged for 2 weeks! Time to try and rectify that. Hopefully there will be more to blog about in these coming days, and more to talk about :)

30 Weeks!

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: 164, the highest yet! The Dr. asked what I had eaten or what I was doing to make her so excited. I have no explanation - maybe she just loved my turkey sandwich :)
Movement: Wow. This has increased significantly in the past couple days. About 2 weeks ago I could actually feel her move to the head-down position (that was so strange!) and now I'm getting kicks to the ribs, sides, stomach, you name it. She's also moving more often during the day which is exciting.
Sleeping: I've adjusted to a new sleep schedule. And thankfully, I've been able to go back to sleep more quickly during the 3 a.m. wake time. Perhaps the third trimester tiredness is kicking in!
Weight Gain: 18 pounds (6 in the first twenty weeks, 12 in the last ten weeks)
Mood: Emotional. I'm pretty steady most times, but if something is said or happens to make me nervous or upset, the tears just come. I can't stop it. It could be something little or something big. And even good emotions - like today at the doctor, I heard a baby wailing and the tears welled up as I thought "That could be us in just 10 weeks."
Dreams: I dream every. single. day. I remember every. single. detail. Without fail! And they are strange and vivid and entertaining.
Weeks Along: 30/40
Photo: I like this photo. I finally feel "cute" in one of them! And you can also see the truth that my booty has gained just about as much as my belly :) HA! I always tell people my weight gain gets split between my booty/thighs and my belly! Oh pregnancy - it's so unique for each person.

28 Week Update

2011-02-15T09:41:00.002-06:00

***PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE PASTY WHITE SKIN***
It's winter, right?? :)

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: 155, soundin' good!
Movement: She's getting stronger! Good reassurance she's growing in there.
Sleeping: Lots of sleepless nights, but I'm adjusting. Still peeing 4-5 times a night.
Weight Gain: 13 pounds (6 in the first twenty weeks, 7 in the last eight weeks)
Mood: Happy and content; lonely at times. Marcus has been so busy lately, it's left me wondering if we'll ever have time to ourselves again! But I'm adjusting and I'm emotional.
Dreams: Very, very vivid. I had one the other day that I woke up gasping aloud. It was an awesome dream (about adoption) but so intense!
Weeks Along: 28/40 (They say 7th month right now)
Photo: Taken with an I-phone, and I made Marcus stand on the couch for a better angle :) Ha!

Pediatrics

2011-02-07T11:23:00.004-06:00

I'm once again polling my blog readers! Marcus and I have a consultation on Monday with a pediatrics center. We've been referred there by both a friend and a family member, so we've heard good things. But we want to be sure so we are going in to consult with a doctor.

My question for YOU is what questions should we ask the pediatrician, as first-time parents?

I'd love any feedback/advice you can offer! We are also planning chiropractic care for our little one, as it has been so valuable in our health since 2006.

Thanks, everyone!

Neighbors

2011-02-04T16:02:00.003-06:00

"Life and death, death and life . . . right next door to each other?!?"

-Chuck, Elizabethtown

Last night I joined a few of the women in my family at the hospital downtown. My Great Aunt Barb had been in the hospital since Monday. As she was eating her lunch yesterday and preparing to be released to go home, she had a stroke. We all marveled at the timing of it, since she was in the hospital and received immediate care. She recovered quickly and better than had she been in the car or at her home 20 miles away.

There were some tense moments after I'd arrived, as her heart rate and blood pressure had dropped significantly low - scary low. There was a time I thought this might be it and held my breath while the nurse checked the numbers and discussed some things with Barb's daughters. After they completed the ultrasound of her carotid artery I had an opportunity to say hello and hold her frail hand. She recognized me and we giggled about my growing belly. Well, I giggled while she cracked a smile.

As I sat there among the women in my family and next to a relative whose life seemed to hang by threads, our little Baby Girl began to kick. I sat there in awe, feeling stupefied actually, about the intricate dance of life and death. While we are growing and preparing to give birth to a new life, Lord-willing, my Great Aunt is possibly nearing the end of her days. She has had a full life, she has lived great moments and suffered great loss, she has seen the birth and marriage and death of so many others, and there she lay.

I don't really know how to sum up what I'm thinking, which is perhaps why Elizabethtown popped into my mind last night. Although it doesn't make sense, life and death are dancing around each other everywhere we go. Every day. I should not feel ashamed or guilty about creating new life as a family member is facing death. No more should we mourn and be saddened that we may be passing away as others are about to begin life. We should instead find the depth and meaning and purpose in today - in every day - while we still have it.

Opposite of Ugh

2011-02-02T15:26:00.004-06:00

This certainly brightened my day today!

Every time I hold a baby, my feelings are confirmed that I'm ready to be a mommy. For all the good and bad and joys and struggles that come with it, I am ready.

I think Baby Girl is ready too. She was kicking the entire time I held Cade, maybe out of jealousy. I consoled her though, reminding her she needs about 10 more weeks or so of growing and developing before we meet face to face :)

Ugh

2011-02-02T10:40:00.003-06:00

I feel like I could crawl into bed and sleep for days. I haven't been this tired in a long time! I think my body is telling me we're ready to move into trimester number three on Sunday.

I've been awake consistently the past five days between 3:30 and 5 or 5:30 a.m. I've been surviving the work days okay, but today is an exception. Last night we woke up at 1:44 a.m. to Brinkley barking. Marcus asked that I take her (I'm closest to the door) out. I let her out and she peed and pooed. In the middle of the night! And then she wanted to play. Maybe it's a sign we've been going to bed too early :) Alas, Baby Girl and I were wide awake until about 4:30. Ugh. I just can't get back to sleep. And then we woke up again at 6:00 when the mandatory snow blowing began in our drive and neighborhood. Alas, no snow day for either of us.

A lot of people have said this is how the Lord designed our bodies, to prepare for the midnight/middle of the night feedings once baby comes. Sure, sure I can agree with that. But right now I just want to rest up in preparation! I need to stop fighting the system and go with the flow. But today I just needed to vent.

On another note, I'm really thankful for my little ol' Neon. We've had her since 2006, and she's little but mighty in the winter! I got stuck twice today on my way into work, but somehow figured out how to slip free of the snow's grip. We made it just fine along the main roads, and then slipped and slid into a snowy spot along the street at my office. I turned off the engine and said "That will do. We'll deal with digging out of this spot after work!"

I'm just glad Mr. Groundhog saw his shadow this morning :)

Under Construction

2011-01-31T15:26:00.004-06:00

We have been on the go with some home projects lately. Knowing we're having a baby in 14 weeks (give or take) has been extra motivation to keep moving forward! We've got her room all painted (just needs some touch-up along the ceiling and floorboards) and Marcus is starting to design some custom shelves. He is so handy when it comes to things like that!

This past weekend he and our friend Brian tackled our bedroom closet remodel. We've got a single-door closet but about a 5 feet wide or more closet space, so I've always wanted to do double-doors and make better use of the space. They started in on phase one: break down the wall and frame it in.

BEFORE

AFTER
(sorry about the dark photo)

It looks fantastic! I'm so impressed how they kept the house clean (the dust and scraps are contained to the bedroom) and got the job done in one afternoon. We're having an electrician-friend come over Wednesday to figure out how to properly treat the wires you can see hanging - they were inappropriately installed before. I'm really glad we found that out and can fix it properly. Next steps from here will be putting on the frame and building some sliding doors. In the meantime, we'll be picking out paint for the rest of the room.

We're making progress. It feels great to get some of these things out of the way before we have a little bundle to consume all our time and energy :)

The Time Has Arrived

2011-01-26T09:23:00.002-06:00

NO, I'm not in labor!! I am just on the cusp of big change. I knew the sleeplessness would come, and I fear it is here to stay now that we've crossed just barely into trimester #3. This is what a typical overnight in our house now looks like:

9:00 p.m. - Bedtime for the Burriers. Seems lame, but we are trying to get as much sleep in as possible! And most days we're both exhausted by this point.

12:00 a.m. - Trip #1 to the potty for Kelli.

2:00 a.m. - Awoken by my sleep-talking husband**. We have a conversation about Brinkley jumping off the bed. I investigate and find her curled up in a ball, sleeping soundly on her blanket on the bed. I calm my husband down and take trip #2 to the potty.

3:30 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. - Awoken by my husband and take trip #3 to the poddy. Spend time in a strange tangle of joy and frustration. Joy because I am finally feeling baby girl move no matter how I lay. While on my back I could feel her the strongest in previous weeks. Now while on my sides, I feel her wiggling and kicking and bumping around anywhere between my pelvis and my lower ribs. It's beautiful - but I am wide awake for a few hours at the same time each night. The only frustration is losing sleep. I know this is going to increase, so I should not complain yet!

6:00 a.m. - Wake up time for Brinkley. Marcus is already up either reading or lounging on the couch, so I open the door and she runs to snuggle with him/nap until I wake up for good. I sneak in trip #4 to the potty (you see a pattern here?***).

6:30/6:45 a.m. - Depending on if I need a shower (I'm an every-other-day-shower-taker in the winter. Don't be grossed out.) I get up for good. Followed quickly by trip #5 to the potty :)

Here we go! Sleepless nights and big changes are on the way with trimester #3. I'm excited, anxious, and curious about what it will hold from here!

**In the morning he has no recollection of our conversations. He is purely sleep-talking although he looks me in the eyes and we hold a steady conversation. Creepy, yes. But I've adjusted.

***Note: pre-pregnancy, it was common that I took one trip to the potty overnight. This baby is constantly kicking and moving and challenging my bladder!

Gouge Out My WHAT???

2011-01-25T12:19:00.002-06:00

I read this tweet this morning by John Piper and it's got me thinking today.

"The role of the will in sanctification: How intentional must you be to tear out your eye? Totally. It's never spontaneous."

I'm pretty sure he's pulling reference from this verse in Matthew chapter 5:

²⁹ If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

I think in the past I've read this verse and thought wow, that's extreme! Surely God doesn't intend for us to literally take out our eye in order to rid our lives of a particular sin issue. Too extreme. And then I move on, not really giving it deeper thought because I couldn't see how this applied in my life, how to literally apply that.

But in the context of what John said above, it totally makes sense. It just hit me today! Sin is like a plague - you cannot simply pull it off your body and throw it away; it lingers, it deepens, you have to gouge and gouge and gouge. You have to work for it, to be free of it. And the word spontaneous is so great - it doesn't just happen. You have to be intentional about it. You have to face it and work on it directly, taking intentional action.

Jesus spoke a lot in parables. I think I'm just now beginning to see why.

Photo Update

2011-01-23T20:32:00.006-06:00

20 Weeks

25 Weeks

20 Week Photo

24 Weeks!

2011-01-18T15:08:00.002-06:00

Today we are sitting at 24 weeks, 2 days in this pregnancy. I am so deeply thankful that things have been going well thus far. I have much to be grateful for! I've been feeling really great with high energy and mostly good moods (mostly). My only complaint is this winter weather - especially the ice. I walked out of my house today on my best behavior, tip-toeing cautiously down our porch steps and onto the driveway. Right beside my car, I slipped and nearly biffed it. Sheesh - and with my balance changing this is only going to get worse! I'm just hoping to make it through winter injury-free :)

Here are some stats at this point in the game:

Baby Girl's Heart-rate: 160, highest yet! She was pretty energetic today.
Movement: Lots! I'm now feeling more movement more consistently.
Sleeping: I'm still able to sleep through the night, minus the 4-5 pee breaks :)
Weight Gain: 11 pounds (6 in the first twenty weeks, 5 in the last four weeks) I'm thankful about this because most days I feel like I've gained 25!!
Mood: Happy; energetic; but when I cry - I can't stop!
Dreams: Very vivid, very strange dreams. Not the night-terrors I had in the first trimester thankfully, but so so strange.
Weeks Along: 24/40 (I'm in the 5th month, I think!)
Photo: Sorry, not feeling photogenic this week. Most women talk about their skin "glowing" but mine seems to be "pimpling" - ick. When these blemishes clear up I'll snap another one for ya'll.

I go back in four weeks (for the dreaded glucose test) and after that, we start going every two weeks. Crazy, am I really approaching the 30 week mark!?!?

Thankful thankful thankful. Praising the Lord for today and the new life He is creating in there.

A Need vs. Taking Advantage

2011-01-13T12:07:00.002-06:00

I've been chewing on this thought for the past half-hour.

Marcus and I have a friend, someone we've known of the past year but are just recently getting to know on a deeper level. Our friend is on the verge of finding faith and trusting in the Lord, and we are trying to find ways to walk alongside him and encourage him while also helping make good/right decisions.

We've run into an issue as of recently. This person has been caught in white lies recently, and just lately has started to ask for things from us. To borrow something, or for us to spot them some money, or other asks. In all honesty, this is what Marcus and I love most: to practice freely giving and meeting someone's specific need. However with this person, and really for the first time ever for us, we're seeing that they may be starting to rely on us and taking advantage of our provisions, and we're not sure we can trust the reason behind the ask (based on the recent lies). We say this because it's not just happening to us but also to some of our friends that this person knows.

So my questions today are these:

Are we called to give freely at all times - regardless of if we are taken advantage of or we don't know if truth is behind the need?
Is there room for a lesson here, an opportunity for us to let this person know they are taking advantage of people? Are we just enabling a bad habit? If nobody says anything, will this person continue to latch onto others to provide various things for them?
Can a deep, trust-relationship with someone be built when that person is always asking you to provide things for them (like money, a car, material things, etc)?
How do we approach this gently/sensitively?

I don't even know if this makes sense. I'd love to just have an answer pop into my head, but I feel like this is something I'm going to have to chew on, pray about, and seek wisdom.

Thanks!

2011-01-13T09:05:00.002-06:00

Thanks everyone for the great feedback about baby items. I really appreciate it! It has already helped calm my nerves a bit and to think straight in the sea of options out there. We are making progress!

And Rachel - I must publicly say - your response cracks me up! No, I don't plan to buy a breast pump from a small-town grocery store, but thanks for the suggestion :)

Baby Registries

2011-01-11T15:47:00.002-06:00

I'm starting to look into this for Baby Girl Burrier, and honestly it is a bit overwhelming. I'm wondering if anyone out there, once again, can offer advice or suggestions? Here are some things I'm running into:

What are the best kind of bottles you've used?
Are there particular mattresses to get with certain cribs? Or anything goes?
Did you register for clothes or other necessities instead?
Wow - travel systems!! Which ones are best? We want a stroller/car-seat/carrier all in one.
Breast pumps: I've heard of people registering for them, and others get them from insurance. Hmmm.

It's very fun and exciting to start thinking about these things, but man our culture offers WAY too many options. And we don't want to be people who bring home "stuff" just to have "stuff." We want Baby Girl to have what she needs, and have the best for her, but we are going to have to keep checking on materialism - it's always knocking at our Western doors.

Thanks Blogger friends!

2010 Book Review

2011-01-04T10:48:00.002-06:00

I saw something similar on a friend's blog today and thought I'd do the same. It's always fun to share what we're reading, right? I've used a rating system which goes a little something like this:

***** = Books I'd highly recommend to others
^^^ = Books that were enjoyable to me
----- = Books that were "eh", just okay
oooo = Books I did not like much

2010 Reading Review (in order from first to last read):
-----------------------------

1. Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall *****
2. Green Smoothie Revolution by Victoria Boutenko ^^^ (surprisingly tasty!)
3. Bruchko by Bruce Olson ^^^
4. Sex God by Rob Bell ^^^ (and not as scandelous as the title led me to believe)
5. Touch the Top of the World by Erik Weihenmayer ^^^ (I love stories about overcoming extreme obstacles)
6. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling ^^^
7. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling ^^^
8. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling ^^^
9. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling ^^^
10. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling ^^^
11. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling ^^^
12. I Will Carry You by Angie Smith ^^^
13. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling ^^^
14. The Forgotten God by Francis Chan ^^^
15. Ultramarathon Man by Dean Karnazes ----
16. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen ----
17. First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung ----
18. by this Name by John Cross ^^^ (I'd recommend this if you want to go through a good investigative Bible study with others)
19. A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah ----
20. Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah ^^^ (although I was depressed for awhile after reading it!)
21. The Little Prince by Joann Sfar oooo
22. The Help by Kathryn Stockett *****
23. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson ^^^
24. Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin oooo (yuck. Nothing much to this book)
25. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch ^^^
26. Lord of the Flies by William Golding ----
27. We Are All the Same by James Wooten ----
28. The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson ^^^
29. Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi ----

Book Suggestions

2011-01-03T12:49:00.002-06:00

Okay, I'm wanting to glean some good book suggestions for the year. I've already written a few down from previous comments left on my blog, but I want more! I often find the best books by word of mouth.

Also, specifically for moms or moms-to-be, if you have any suggestions on books that helped or encouraged you during your second-half of pregnancy and after, I'd LOVE to know those. Books on labor/delivery, breast-feeding, raising a newborn, sleeping habits, weekly changes, getting your body back, etc!

Thank you, my reader-friends!

A New Year!

2011-01-03T11:25:00.004-06:00

I know it may be cliche but I get really excited about the new year. A brand new date to write, a chance to start over fresh, and an opportunity reflect on one year of life while preparing for what the new one could hold.

I'm digging bullet points, so here are a few reflections on 2010 that stand out to me today, both good and bad:

Our Nepali friends. We technically met them in spring 2009, but a lot of things happened in the winter of this last year. We said good-bye to our good friends Khegendra and Parbata, but we also spent some fun times with others going bowling, going to church, helping gather winter coats & hats and helping people learn to drive (yes, even in the snow!). Looking back it felt like we had ample time and they did too, to hang out and get to know each other.
Year #2 of Resolution Solution with my co-workers. I don't think anyone lost weight, but we had fun talking about it and meeting other goals like eating veggies and flossing our teeth. I think the whole thing is a great idea, we just never follow through!
I learned a lot about certain areas of my heart & issues I had never worked through. It was pretty amazing how God made me confront these things face to face, and through tears and crying out to Him, He provided a way to overcome them. I didn't even know these things existed until then - how faithful of God to bring things to light and help us be refined!
Marcus & I celebrated 5 years of marriage! It was a pretty big milestone. We didn't go anywhere big, but we certainly had a lot of reflecting we did on all that we've experienced and learned. We both feel like this past year was one of the best we've had together, just in our communication and unity. Still have a LOT to work on and grow in, but we are thankful for this time we've lived together.
Learned to snowboard. Can't say I loved it, actually looking back it makes my legs and butt sore to think of doing it again :) Marcus loved it and was really good - maybe it will be his new thing in winter. If we ever live in the mountains!
Joanna came to visit! It was fun spending time together in Iowa again, and fun to introduce her to parts of our lives here in the city.
We adopted Miss Brinkley Bear, our fun and energetic puppy. She has been the BEST addition to our family thus far, and I have no regrets about getting her. She is loving, snugglie, spunky, and has an attitude just like me :)
I said a very tearful good-bye to Katie, my coworker here at the University. When I changed jobs and we started working together in 2008, it was a gift to work with someone who I could relate to, who I could share my heart with, share my laughter AND my tears with, and become friends with. Katie is a blessing in my life and the path we walked "together" this last year really changed and grew me. I miss working with her, but I'm happy for her new life staying home with beautiful baby girl Eisley!! I know it was her dream, so in the end it was meant to be.
I said a big smiley hello to a new coworker, Alyssa. The dynamics were difficult to adjust to at first, but now that I've gotten to know her and we've had time to gel, things are going great. She is a great fit in our area and super sweet! It will be fun when we get one year under her belt and we can look back at all the chaos we've endured :)
I love my job! Year #2 was a settling time for me here. I've now learned the ropes, I've learned the flow and cyclical nature of my job, and I can anticipate things a lot faster. I know my coworkers on a deeper level which is probably my favorite thing about life in my office. Everyone wants to be in everyone's business, and it feels like a big ol' family. Drama, boredom, and chaos included, I wouldn't change a thing.
Joni's wedding in California! I got to see my friend Joanna again, and it was really fun to peek into life for her and Mikey out there. Joni's wedding was a honor to participate in, she is someone I admire and respect deeply. Totally a blessing to see her family and friends and to be asked to join in. I also learned a lot about Joanna's husband and his selflessness while I was sick at the end of my trip. An embarrassing experience turned into a way to see how he cares for my friend Joanna and how great a dad he will be someday when his family gets sick!
Friendship Camp at Westwind. I participated in a bit of our church's first camp for American and Nepali kids. I struggled with lingering sickness from the wedding, so I missed a bunch. But during the time I was there I learned to relate to 6th grade boys, I learned about snakes and soccer, I had a deeper glimpse into life in the jungle and in the refugee camps (amazing where they come from), and I learned about God and his creation through the eyes of children. We have some talented people that attend our church - really fun to watch them shine in their elements.
We bought a car in Florida! We are so extreme in how we do things sometimes. But we found a really great deal on a specific car we'd wanted, so it was worth the time and flight money. $100 Allegiant flight, a free ride from the airport to the dealership, and a fun solo-drive home to Iowa for Marcus! He has always wanted to drive across the country, I just wish he had more time to stop and see things. But what he did get to do I know made it a really rewarding trip for him. And we love our little blue Element!
Marcus did three days of Ragbraii. Not really my personal highlight, but I like to highlight things my husband loved! He has become an avid biker, taking himself to and from work when the weather is nice and going on weekend-rides with friends around Iowa. This is something he's wanted to participate in, and I know he had a great time with his good friend Joel. Maybe next year he'll make it all week!
Our connection group through our church restarted this fall with some new & old faces. I have really been enjoying it and feel like I'm getting to know the ladies a lot better than the first year. It's really fun to look forward to Wednesday nights again!
In September we found out we're expecting our first little baby!!! It was such a fun day finding out and sharing with a few select people (we found out EARLY so wanted to wait). It's been really fun the last couple months sharing with more family and friends, and having survived 8 weeks of morning sickness I can say I really enjoy being pregnant :) Hard to believe I'm already in the last half of this!
Mikey and Joanna came back to Iowa!!! Three times in one year seeing my long-distance-best-friend!?! So perfect. It was extra fun to spend time together the four of us, and learning that Mikey and Marcus get along well. We had tons of fun, enjoyed hearing about their upcoming plans for living in Japan, and were really blessed by their company.
Many new babies!!! I feel like 2010 was the year of babies for many friends in my life. I'm thankful for all the new life given and celebrate each little one here!

I know there is so much more that I'm not including here. Looking back it was a pretty good year. Started out kinda rocky but ended on a high note. God has been faithful in many aspects of my life this past year, and I anticipate it will be the same in 2011.

With that in mind, I've been spending some time thinking about my goals for 2011. I've learned to give myself grace with things I don't accomplish, but I also want to set things before me that can be accomplished. I think these are all attainable and I am already diving right in on many of them.

Reading! I love to read. It's relaxing, it's invigorating, and sometimes it's more fun than watching a movie or play. A really good book can set me in a really good place! Since 2007, my goal has been to read more books each year than the year before. So far so good! That makes my reading goal for 2011 out to be 30 books. I better get a jumpstart now since I put a lot off until the end last year :)
I love to read, but it's not limited to fictional/non-fiction books. Marcus and I made a goal together for 2011 to read through the entire Bible. We've done it before, me having last read it in 2003. It will be fun to work on a shared goal together!
Having a new life growing in me challenges me to think about the way I eat. We don't eat the best overall, so this is an extra push to make the goal to eat healthier overall! This looks like me doing a lot more cooking and us eating out a lot less. I think we can make this happen if we work hard at it.
I love to work out, but I've been lazy the past half a year. Being sick in the summer and finding out we were pregnant wiped me out - havent really worked out for a long time! My goal for 2011 is to get exercise consistently. Being pregnant and having the schedule we do now, I'm aiming toward 3 days a week minimum. Once baby arrives (it will be springtime and I will hopefully regain more mobility without a huge bump in the belly), perhaps I can up that amount (to run, play tennis, bike ride, etc). I just want to be more active!
This last goal is something I've been convicted about lately. I want to be a better wife! In thinking ahead to parenting, I want Marcus to be viewed as the head of our family. As the leader, as a respected man, as one we all look toward. I don't want our kids to "favor" one of us over the other, but I do want my children to have a deep relationship with their dad. They can't have this if I'm standing in the way! Specifically, this looks like learning to be less of a nag about things, letting Marcus make the final decision and not grumbling like I do, acknowledging there is more than one way to do something and letting him have control (oooh, I cling to control and it is a terrible thing about me sometimes!), and showing him respect verbally and physically in our home and in public. I really want others to admire him as I do, and I believe I can help that or increase it by how they see him through me. Refinement, baby! I want to be refined in my words, in my actions, and in our relationship.

So there you have it. A new year, a fresh start, and things to work on! I'm looking forward to all that 2011 brings.

Happy New Year to all!

Goal!!!

2010-12-27T09:50:00.002-06:00

Remember this post from earlier this month?

I'm thankful to say I've officially completed a goal for 2010. I've read 29 books this year, making it one book more than the year before. And honestly, it's hard to stop. I have been bitten by the reading bug; perhaps it's the cold weather that makes reading more appealing, or maybe it's the amount of really great books on my to-read list. Either way, I'm taking a one-week break and will begin again in January.

I'm hoping to get a jump start at that time on the 2011 goal of 30 books or more!

Maybe I'll do a brief post sometime with book reviews. For now, let me know if you need any good book suggestions, I've got a decent list compiled :)

Happy Last Week of December and 2010!

Announcement!

2010-12-22T20:09:00.003-06:00

Well, turns out we were so excited upon receiving our news that we told our family right away. Christmas just seemed too far away!

So without further ado -

WE ARE HAVING A BABY GIRL!!!

We are very excited, a bit shocked (we thought we were having a boy), and rejoicing over all that we saw today. The ultrasound was probably the best hour of this experience so far. I could feel Baby Girl moving while watching her kick at my bladder - she is breach so practically standing on it! We watched her open her mouth, breathe in and out, roll from side to side, and dramatically place her hand on her forehead! Simply amazing.

We are rejoicing in the life growing inside, and we are thankful for family and friends to share it with! It was a great early-Christmas gift for us to receive today :)

The Big Poll

2010-12-19T12:46:00.004-06:00

This is a big week in our lives!

We've been really excited about the Christmas season and celebrating with family this year. We just came from our church's Christmas service and play, which was amazing. The theme was Peace, and what it looks like for peace vs. chaos reigning over our lives / our culture. It was challenging and really hit home. As we approach Christmas day and reflect on the birth of Christ and what that means, I hope we can find a lot of ways to carve out peace and rest this week - seeking God as the only source of both.

Another reason we're excited about the week is we get to find out what we're having! As long as Baby decides to spread the legs (sorry if that's too graphic!). Wednesday afternoon we will have our big ultrasound and consult with our doctor. We're hopeful and excited and ready for the news.

20 Weeks Today!

In light of this momentous occasion, I'd like to do a poll to see what you think we're having. Will Baby Burrier be a boy or will she be a girl? Baby already is what it is, but we want to know!! Please feel free to comment with your guess, and I will follow up with a post by Sunday. I know it's a long time to wait, but we will have had the chance to share with our families first at Christmas.

I'm looking forward to moving into this new phase of pregnancy (I'm already halfway done today!), and I think knowing what we're having will make it very real for us.

The anticipation grows! In the meantime, may peace dwell in your hearts and rule over the chaos in your lives this Christmas Week.

The Big Announcement

2010-12-15T15:00:00.003-06:00

Yes, we want to find out the sex of little Baby Burrier.

A week from today, at this time, we will know boy or girl. Assuming Baby moves in the appropriate ways so we can capture a photo :)

My sister makes it seem like she has to wait FOREVER to find out, but it's only two days! We plan to share our news with my family on Christmas Eve, and then with Marcus' family on Christmas Day.

So ya'll just sit tight - I will update you shortly after that!

19 Weeks: A Baby Update

2010-12-13T16:18:00.002-06:00

My word, these days are flying by. Nineteen weeks? In just one week we are already at the half-way point. It makes me sad, but I'm already excited about seeing our little one face to face.

My body has officially changed. Enough to where I can no longer wear my regular pants. I made it work for 18 weeks, but now it's got to stop! Don't tell anyone, but I've been walking around work with my pants unbuttoned all day. Tomorrow I enter the days of full-time maternity pants!

Speaking of which: we ventured out to Old Navy after the blizzard had passed on Sunday afternoon, and I purchased a couple pairs of pants for $55. We then remembered the consignment store Me 'n Mommy to Be, so we drove over there. Jackpot!!! I will never buy new again! We found 8-9 pairs of pants that fit like a glove, and will allow for addition growth in the coming couple months. Total cost? $50. I will now be returning my Old Navy purchase :) Consignment is the way to go!

I can also no longer sleep on my back. I've had an awful head cold for the past 9 days so I've been sleeping on my back to avoid my nose clogging. However, this weekend I experienced pretty terrible pain in my hips and my lower body. To the point I started crying last night (how in the world am I going to survive labor!?!?!). So I slept on my left side and woke up today relatively pain-free. Little baby is just a half a pound or so, but all the weight of baby, my uterus, and all the other protective stuff are putting pressure on my organs/nerves. Time to deal with side-sleeping until May!

I've been having crazy dreams. I've always had pretty vivid dreams I remember when I wake up, but hardly have I had nightmares. Last night was probably nightmare #12. I was in a ravine with some people, and we saw little creatures scurrying away. We realized this was the sign of an attack about to happen, and all the sudden we were surrounded by tigers. I took off in a dead sprint just as they pounced and I woke up. I'm talking waking up with your heart beating so hard it might pop out your chest, sweat pouring down your neck, and tension body-wide. Oh my. Pregnancy creates crazy things in my mind!!

Everyone has advice. Everyone - even the "i've never had a baby" advice. I'm learning to take it lightly and not get so defensive. But sheesh people, come on! Let's just enjoy this together and stop thinking we know the answers for everyone else!

On a happier note - we get to find out what we're having in 10 days!!! We are hopeful that we'll see the sex and get to share with family over Christmas weekend. I cannot wait! It will make it more real and we can start talking names again.

The Jumbles

2010-12-09T08:30:00.004-06:00

I'm a jumble of emotion today! There is so much going on, and it all piled on this morning.

This is day 4 of the worst head cold I've had in a long time. Sleep eludes both Marcus and I, as we endure deep snoring, stuffed noses, drool on the pillows, a dog who licks said drool, and coughing and nose blowing. We are a mess! We wake up groggy, sick, and tired. We are hoping this ends so we can get back to the things we need to do and enjoy this holiday season!

A good friend of mine is currently in labor. She was admitted last night to the hospital, but the contractions did not come closer so they induced her this morning. The great thing is - today is her due date! She will be one of those "less than 5% of women" who have their baby on their due date - Lord willing!

I'm only 5 books away from meeting my reading goal for the year. I've been zooming through some great books since getting sick. I probably looked so funny - reading for an hour, snoozing with the book on my lap, reading when I woke back up. But I've got some great suggestions if you need them for some good reading material, this end of the year push has been fun!

I found out today that one of my very good friends is pregnant!!! I cannot disclose who, so don't ask. I'm keeping this secret locked up until she reveals the news in about 5 more weeks :) I LOVE this season, I have so many pregnant co-workers and friends!! It is also exciting to be able to talk about things with them as we will all have our babies within 5 months or less of one another.

There is a forecast of snow for this weekend. A big snow. I'm hoping it happens, because we havent really had anything yet this winter. And a good snowfall in December makes me feel cozy and in the holiday spirit!

We are delivering gifts to families for the Angel Tree Foundation with our small group on Saturday. I haven't done anything like that since I was in high school, so I'm really looking forward to meeting those families and kids, serving in a way that will bless them. I just hope I can hold my emotions together; thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. It's the littlest things lately!

Did I tell you my friend is pregnant?? I cannot contain my joy. Every time I find out someone new it makes me hyper and obnoxious the entire day. This is no exception :)

In less than two weeks we find out if we have a Baby Boy Burrier or Baby Girl Burrier floating around in my cantaloupe-sized uterus! I've been told to drink some pop or have something sugary before I go, so the baby moves and we can identify the important parts ;) If we don't find out, it won't be the end of the world. But it would make one of the sweetest Christmas gifts ever!

Speaking of which, I am pretty sure I've been feeling little Mr/Miss these days! Mostly at night while I'm laying flat on my back. I can feel little tiny flutters and if I press in certain places, I can feel a little something. It's not much, and I think I expected to feel more distinct movement by now, but it is really exciting nonetheless. Also I've been having increased pressure on my intestines and bladder. This just means more frequent trips to the bathroom in the night, and some maneuvering to change gravity and get baby to move off my intestines. Last night I couldn't even stand straight because of the ache of gas or something in there, so I got on all fours with my head to the ground. After a couple minutes I stood up and felt immediately better. Just getting baby to shift makes a huge difference, even at this tiny little size!

Christmas makes me think of family. The last couple days as I've been reading a book called The Last Lecture (read it - it's inspiring!), I've been thinking of the family Christmases past. This time last year - I think for Thanksgiving, but close enough to Christmas! - we traveled up to Thornton to spend time with Marcus' Grandma and Grandpa Ingebretson. It was one of the last family gatherings we had with him before he passed away this year from Alzheimers. It was very memorable, as Miya lost her first tooth in their house, Dave told a really funny joke about something in the freezer, and we had other random roadtrip memories. Last night I was also remembering the Christmases of my childhood when we'd go to my Great Aunt Barb's house in Boone. She had a simple ranch house, but it was full of character and warm memories. A working fireplace that kept our backs warmer than usual. The bar where the kids sat for dinner. Her quirky porcelain dolls here and there. The wooden stall door to the kitchen - you could close the bottom half and as kids peek over the top to see what was going on. Or close the top and crawl through the bottom. Endless fun when we were little. Barb no longer lives there, and she's struggling with a lot of health problems. It makes me sad to think of her leaving our family. And I've been really missing my Grandpa Don. Honestly, our family dynamics have never been the same since he passed away in 2008. I miss his bear hugs, those slaps on the back that probably left handprints (don't worry - that trait was passed along to my mother, so I'll still get plenty!), the hearty laughter coming from the other room, driving through Boone at 50 mph to look at Christmas lights while Grandma sternly warned "Don, not so fast!" So many wonderful memories.

And now we're about to have our own little family. What will Christmases to come look like as a family of four (including Brinkley of course)? What new traditions will we create for our kids to remember? What old traditions will remain to pass along to them? This may be the last time we're able to do Christmas morning at my parent's house. Will we have Christmas at our house now? So many thoughts, yet it doesn't matter until next year. Who knows!

There you have it. My jumble of thoughts today. I'm excited, anticipatory, and ready to recover from this cold! Until next time.

31 Days

2010-11-30T10:33:00.003-06:00

I have a mere 31 days to read 9 more books.

NINE!?!?

In order to meet my reading goal for the year, I need to reach 29. I'm on book #21! How will this be possible, I keep asking myself? That rounds out to about 2.25 books per week. I'm going to have to select some shorter reads after I finish my current book (only 300 more pages to go!!). Maybe 9 days off at the end of the year will include some ample reading time.

Maybe?

2007: 14 books
2008: 27 books
2009: 28 books
2010:

16.5 Weeks!

2010-11-24T09:03:00.002-06:00

We are making progress in this pregnancy season. I can't believe we're already into the second trimester. I've got to say - this is the best I've felt for a LONG time. The entire first trimester was tough on me physically and emotionally. I feel great, like I could go run a mile (realistically - yeah, right) or clean the house top to bottom or shop till I drop! My mentality has entered a calm phase and my hormones/emotions have leveled out. This is much to be thankful for this holiday week!

I received a call today that the doctor I was supposed to see this afternoon is "no longer with the practice." Not sure what that means, but the two ladies I talked to at the office made it sound like it was a shady circumstance. Luckily they were able to get me in with another doctor this morning, so I can still go today. I'm guessing the appointment will be much like the last, quick in and quick out. They take my weight, my blood pressure, listen to my heart, we use the Doppler device to listen for the baby's heartbeat, and I ask any questions on my mind. Total appointment time at 12 weeks was 10 minutes! We'll see how today goes.

Belly photos? Maybe I'll start posting those soon. I'm definitely starting to show and feel a major difference in my abdomen! It's scary, exciting, overwhelming, and mind boggling that something is growing inside down there. I haven't yet felt anything, but I keep paying really close attention to each feeling inside wondering if that could be it. We'll see, any day now!

A Song of Good-bye

2010-11-16T08:53:00.003-06:00

This morning I put on my coral pink sweater I've had for years. It was the first article of clothing that I can't seem to fit into properly since being pregnant!!!

While sitting, it looked fine. But when I stood in front of the mirror, the bottom of the sweater came just about to the bottom of my belly - and I cannot stand shirts that are too short (right mom? We were just talking about that!). I took off the sweater and sang it a song:

Good-bye, pink sweater
I'll see you next winter
It's back to the box
for you.

Silly I know. But it was a great tune.

I then put on my first "maternity" shirt I've had hanging in my closet these past couple months. I bought a Daisy Fuentes shirt from Khols and loved it because of its build. I don't know the fashion description, but basically it's tight until right under the boobs and then flows down from there. Empire? Or something else? I dunno. But it's PERFECT for my growing tummy. I think when I'm 10 more inches out ahead of me, it will still fit well. And it's not even a maternity-category shirt. Thank you, Miss Daisy!

On another note, I've noticed a difference in thinking with my clothes. Pre-pregnancy, if something didn't fit quite right, I'd hold onto it with great hopes that in a few weeks/months I'd tone up enough to wear it again (sometimes that happened, sometimes it was wishful thinking, let's be honest). Now that I'm pregnant, it's tons easier to say good-bye to an article of clothing. I just know it's not going to fit so why torture myself. Interesting. Also equally interesting is my dwindling options of clothes! I may need to turn that corner and borrow/buy some new items for winter and a growing tummy :)

Welcome Wreaths

2010-11-15T09:50:00.002-06:00

I don't know what it is about them, but I love having a wreath on my door. It just feels so homey and inviting when you walk up and see some color! I think there's probably some history behind it, but I don't have time to look it up right now.

I've gotten a few requests for the source of our new fall wreath. Here is the blog post that inspired me to make a fall wreath: CLICK HERE

I checked her blog again today and there's a new version for the Christmas season. I'm going to wait to change mine around until after Thanksgiving, but if you're interested, here's the new version she did: CLICK HERE

This wreath is so great because it's versatile. You make the wreath once, then you can change out the felt flowers/buds/whatever you use with the various seasons. You simply stick decorative sewing pin in the styrofoam wreath, so it's very easy to move and change with the seasons. I love it!

Didelphis Virginiana

2010-11-11T08:59:00.002-06:00

For the last two days we have been investigating a strange occurrence in our garage. On Thursday morning Marcus discovered our garage in disarray. We keep the door locked and the garage door down, so we figured it wasn't a break-in. Nothing was missing, but paint gallons were knocked off shelves, shreds of material were on the ground, and part of the rubber insulation on the garage door were chewed off. We knew we had a creature stuck inside! After hunting around, he couldn't find anything.

Wednesday morning he opened the garage to find the same problem! Paint cans strewn about, large shelves were knocked sideways and leaning against the car, and there was a pee-spot in the back corner. This was no squirrel - we were thinking raccoon!

Last night as we arrived back home after small group, we opened the garage door and saw movement. With the headlights of the car shining, we saw movement along the left side of the garage. I stayed in the car with the lights on while Marcus moved the large items out of the way, and then jumped back in surprise. He shouted raccoon but hadn't gotten a good look at it. He grabbed his bb gun (which I convinced him to put down in order to find a more humane weapon!!), then he picked up a longer tool with a hook at the end. And then I saw it.

North America's only marsupial - the opossum. Scientific name: didelphis virginiana (thank you Allison!)

It was disgusting!!! The only thing that kept coming to mind was Wesley fighting the giant rat in the forest (Princess Bride, anyone?). I was having visions of the opossum attacking Marcus and I had to watch them roll around in the garage. (Hello, strange fantasy. My pregnancy mind is going haywire!)

In the end, Marcus shooed him out the front of the garage. Without a Wesley/giant rat altercation. But that wasn't the end. Mr. Opossum immediately dove under the car and Marcus saw him grab on to the underside! I freaked out, so Marcus took the car for a ride trying to knock him off. My guess is he either gave up and fell off or he will slowly die a death on the underside of our car. I'm hoping for the first option!

Garage mystery = solved.

Can I Move to Japan?

2010-11-10T10:42:00.002-06:00

We just spent 38 hours with two of my favorite people. My best friend Joanna and her husband Mikey arrived to Des Moines on Monday night and it was a fun breath of fresh air to have them in our home and presence. Joanna and I feel really spoiled that we've gotten to see each other so often this past year. I saw her for some prep-weekends and her wedding last August/September, we met up again in Iowa in April, and now this. Our friendship started with seeing each other daily for 10 weeks in 2004, after which we became long distance friends for the next 6 years. 6 years!?!? Yes. And that's a long time to rarely see someone you would call your best friend. So this year is a huge blessing!

Mikey and Joanna were here to host an open house. They invited some friends/supporters who live in Iowa and we invited some friends/family to come and hear about their hearts for Japan and their upcoming fundraising hurdle they are beginning to work on. It was really great to meet a few people in her life and to hear them talk about how God is moving in Japan through the lives of a couple people they've invested in there. They are excited and anxious to get back and yet want to connect with people here who would support them and team with them.

We also go to spend a lot of time just chatting, laughing, and playing games. They introduced us to Ticket to Ride - um, it's the BEST game I've played in a long time! Super addicting. I may have to buy the game asap. I think we played at least 5 rounds in the short time they were here. We also met one of our church pastors, explored Des Moines a tiny bit, ate some lunch at Fong's Pizza, shopped at Raygun and the new Trader Joes, had some coffee/tea at Smokey Row (while playing another rousing game of TTR)and hosted an open house together at our place. When I woke up this morning I had a sadness inside that they were already leaving. I enjoy my friendship with Joanna, but having Mikey and Marcus a part of it was an added bonus. We all get along so great and I find their lives fascinating, inspiring and challenging.

We have tentative plans to reunite in Illinois over Thanksgiving, while they're staying with Joanna's family. When your friends are this close, you have to take advantage and see them as much as you can! Who knows when the next time is we'll get together, or if we'll even see them before they head to Japan. I love my friends and am so thankful for the way they care for us, express interest in our lives, and challenge our hearts. I am sleepy but so thankful for the past couple days of refreshing my spirit and my outlook on life.

Until we meet again! (or can I just move to Japan with you?)

Gah!

2010-11-08T13:47:00.003-06:00

That is the only word that comes to mind right now. So much going on, so little time to stop and think and process and be calm!

We had a whirlwind week/weekend. Last week I had two of my worst days of pregnancy. I was bloated, belching constantly, and on the verge of vomiting on Wednesday and Thursday. My sister in law gave me some Papaya that helped immensely and the nausea and heartburn passed. Too bad I missed small group, but I was just in time for Spa Night with the gals. Instead of doing family night on Thursday, us girls went to Joni's friend's house to have some relaxation and pampering. Oh my, it was just what I needed. We soaked our feet, rubbed our hands, inhaled beautiful soothing scents, did a relaxation technique, had a facial, and rubbed amazing balm on our lips. I felt the best I've felt in months! We also had three of the worst days of work Wednesday through Friday, so it picked me up just enough to survive until the weekend.

Saturday Marcus and I helped some friends of ours with remodeling their house. They purchased a foreclosure and are stripping the entire house bare and making it new again! I didn't think this prego-girl could do much, but I was wrong. Kyle's dad taught me to cut tile with the water saw (don't worry, it was windy enough that nothing much was inhaled!) which FREAKED ME OUT! I kept saying no and asking if he cut while I ran the pieces into the bathroom. But he said "I have other things to do!" and left me in the dust. I had no choice! It was good for me to be forced to do something like that - I learned not to be afraid of a saw, and learned that I am pretty good at measuring and precision! It was fun to work with Kyle's sister who seems to be an expert tiler :) I spent a lot of time cutting and waiting for her to need more, but I still felt I was contributing. What else could I do since painting, sawing wood, lifting heavy objects, priming, doing electric work, and using extra-dangerous tools were off limits! Marcus really enjoyed himself. All I know is he was deep in it when I smelled smoke and turned the corner - he was using some contraption to cut wire and it was making sparks. He LOVES power tools. Burly.

Sunday we spent the entire day cleaning and rearranging our house for our house-guests this week! My best friend Joanna and her husband Mikey are coming to town tonight, so we had a lot to do. I think our house is the cleanest it's been in a long time! And we rearranged the living room to make space for 14-16 people: we are throwing an open house tomorrow and inviting guests to come see them! Joanna and Mikey are fundraising for their upcoming move to Japan next year. They are hoping to minister full-time for the next 4-6 years in Japan. Really exciting, and we're jazzed to spend a few days with some good friends and their good friends.

5:45 rolled around way too early today in preparation for our final Fall Preview Day at work! No more early mornings for me, until I start feeling the baby move and sleep eludes me :) We also prepared the house for the installers coming to remodel our 3-season porch. This evening we will officially have 8 new energy-star windows installed and a 4-season porch to enjoy! Just in time for company, just in time for the holidays.

It's been a tough 5 days, but now that I'm up against the last few work hours until I see my good friends, until I have a day off work, until our porch remodel is complete, and until rest will hopefully flood in, I am really happy and glad to have worked hard to get here!

Gah! So much in such a short time!

A November to Remember!

2010-11-01T15:42:00.003-05:00

We are officially entering Trimester #2! I'm still learning how to track this whole "how far along are you" pregnancy issue. Did you know that the first 3-4 weeks of pregnancy you aren't even technically "pregnant" but they include it in your timeline? They mark the start of your 40 weeks with the date of your last period. Weird. Gestation is complicated! I've learned also why most women give you an answer to that question in terms of weeks rather than months. 40 weeks does not equal 9 months. So, now you know too. Or do you? So confusing!

This week we are 13 weeks along, putting me at the end of the first trimester. I am ecstatic about this as it typically marks the end of morning sickness, and the start of growth happening in the abdomen. I am experiencing both! Although I never fully "tossed my cookies" in the bathroom, there were about 5 steady weeks of nausea, gagging, huge sensitivity to certain smells, and spending much time laying down between 4pm and 10pm. Seems my "morning sickness" was more "evening sickness." This week also marks the first time many of my clothes do not fit the same. I am down to one pair of pants I can wear comfortably, the rest I have to use my trusted Bella Band (well, the Target version anyway). I think that will be my new best friend until the end!

I've been noting many of the changes we're going through, and I've compiled a very random list! I thought it'd be fun to journal here to remember all that these first 13 weeks have been. Enjoy!

Cravings. Many of my friends say they never really had cravings. Mine started right away! My cravings aren't very steady - mostly I will crave something suddenly and very strong. Marcus has been so great to "go with the flow" as my desire for meals changes! The only item that I crave almost daily is potatoes. Cheesy, mashed, gravy-covered, hashbrowns, casserole, stuffed, twice baked, they ALL sound good. I haven't been satisfying this craving much, but when I do . . . mmm, it's heaven :)
Hormones. I have seen the effects of hormones in my body. My boobs were the first to plump, my legs grew a bit thicker, and I feel like I'm sitting on a bit extra padding. According to the doctor visits, I've only gained 1.68 pounds but it feels like tons more! Just adjusting to the differences I see in the mirror!
Hormones!?! I have seen the effects of hormones on my emotions! Especially during the first 6 weeks, I felt like my emotions were super heightened. I couldn't watch my favorite movies without bawling. Seeing someone else crying made me cry, actually weep! I have been irritable, impatient, irrational, fearful, laughing uncontrollably, and an overall mess of emotion.
Unity in Marriage. Marcus and I have grown more close these past 13 weeks than ever before. Probably longer than that, but I've noticed it more lately. He is incredibly patient, he is so helpful, he has taken over caring for Brinkley's physical needs (taking her out, feeding her in the morning, etc), he is tender with me, he calls me out when I'm being irrational, and he has loved me deeply through all the craziness and changes. I know he laughs inside about the crazy things that happen, but to me he is usually so caring. It makes me thankful, it makes me secure as my body/emotions change, and it leads me to believe more of what a great dad he is going to be next year.
Fear. I have to admit I have a lot of fear about being pregnant. It's a large range but covers issues like: will I be a good mom? will my sins be passed on/how can I prevent this? i am going to miss alone time/freedom from responsibility with Marcus. how in the world am I ever going to survive childbirth (maybe it was too early for me to watch that video!)? what if I miscarry? what if our baby dies at birth? how can we afford this? how can I survive a moving baby when I'm such a light sleeper?? what if I gain 50 pounds or more!?! what if I have to work and can't stay home with my baby? The list goes on and on. These are all things I have to continue to a) recognize as fear and b) take before the Lord and speak truth to. All the books I read say women in this time are prone to fear and irrationality, so I have to remember my brain is a hotzone and prone to going crazy if I don't try and tame it or pray over it!
Guidance. I have really enjoyed gleaning from my close friends who are having babies. I'm learning that everyone is different and does things differently. I'm thankful for family and friends who have offered advice and asked questions. I don't know how anyone prepares for this on their own!
Reading. I'm thankful for great books to guide us along as we go. We're reading three books together, one chapter at a time, on Saturday mornings. It's my favorite time of week with Marcus, to sit and discover how the baby is probably changing and how my body is changing. It's opened our eyes to things we hadn't recognized before, and excited to know how large the baby is. This week we have a baby Peach! In previous weeks we've had a plum, a small lime, a peanut shell, and an olive. Grow baby, Grow!
Sleeplessness begins NOW. The first 4 weeks I had a ton of insomnia. I was unable to fall asleep, would wake up 3-4 times a night, and generally uncomfortable during the night. Thankfully that has faded and now I am tired again by 9 p.m! I'm sleeping really well and thankful for this brief season. I know once the baby starts to move, I may not sleep like this again until he/she leaves the house at 18 :)
Energy zapped. Although I'm feeling a lot better, my energy level is really low. It's difficult for me to motivate myself to go down for a load of laundry and come back, or to clean the house. However, I'm creating a new goal to get some exercise in 3-5 times a week and try to eat more fresh foods. I think I'm just going to have to force myself to "move" when my body just wants to crash.

I'm sure there will be much more to add as the weeks pass by. For now, I'm excited that this month will be a month like no other. I'm feeling better, the weather is still gorgeous and fall is lingering as long as it can, the holidays are right around the corner, and our schedule is slowing down. Here's to a November to Remember!

Big News!!!

2010-10-26T08:58:00.003-05:00

Monday, Monday. (Not) so good to me.

2010-10-18T08:23:00.002-05:00

What a way to start the week. We discovered some seepage in our basement, coming up from the drain in the floor. Luckily it's in the unfinished side of the basement, but the water is spreading. Not just water, but brown stinky nasty water. We called Public Works this morning and are currently waiting for someone to come look at it. Gross.

In the rush to make sure we called them, to make sure Brinkley was fed and taken out for her morning poo, I forgot to wear any makeup. I have lovely saggy baggy eyes today and pretty much a sweatshirt on for work. Ugh.

Monday.

BUT - we're hopeful. If this is a Public Works issue, it will be free and they will clean it all up and run diagnostics. If it's not their problem, we call a plumber and pay for it. Praying that it's FREE and FIXABLE today!!

Fall Fun!

2010-10-17T15:14:00.005-05:00

We have been staying really busy in the month of October! I felt it necessary to post some fun things we did this weekend.

My husband finally finished a project!!! Marcus is the king of starting projects but not quite finishing them. Last year we purchased a piece of reclaimed wood for a great price at the Woodsmith Store. My goal was for him to complete it so we could use it for the holidays - you know, putting some garland and candles and spicy goodness out. Sadly, the year got away from us and it didn't get done. But this year I've got my table! It's beautiful, unique, and hand-made thanks to Marcus. He's awesome with his ideas and tools :)

Now we have to figure out how to keep Miss Brinks away from the table. It seems like as soon as we placed the table behind the couch, she began a new sleeping habit. Now we find her like this - perched right on top of the couch.

Why is this a problem, you ask? Well let's just say yesterday I returned home from a baby shower with two sheer pouches as party favors: one was a tiny votive, the other three wrapped chocolate candies. Marcus and I left for dinner, and when we returned home the pouches were on the ground, the candle was out of the pouch and full of teeth marks, and the chocolates luckily remained in the bag but were torn up. Little scrounger. I wouldn't put it past her to eat candles and greenery I put on the table as decoration! Hmm . . .
Speaking of decorations, I finished a new homemade fall wreath. I can't claim the idea as my own, as I spotted it on a much craftier blog. But it was relatively simple and really fun to make! I think it's looking a little boring, I may add a few more flowers. But it's a fun fall wreath welcoming visitors to our house!

We have been enjoying Brinkley and getting to introduce her to fall. She may have forgotten about spring because of the transition to our house, but she did experience a warm summer with short haircuts and lots of sunbathing on the porch. Now we're loving her exploring of the leaves on the ground, playing around with longer haircuts for the cold weather, and going on many many walks. She still loves the wind while riding in the car, as you can see below!

And even though my Grandma Brown says you should never treat a dog like a child, Marcus loves to spoil her rotten. She loves his kisses, she really loves to steal his socks and prance around the house until he catches her, and she especially loves his snuggles. They are quite the pair and it makes me believe someday Marcus will be an awesome daddy!

Yesterday, Marcus and I were invited to attend the annual Dashi Festival (pronounced dahs-EYE) with our friends from Nepal.

Many, many people from all around Des Moines came to the east side to gather for the festival. Marcus and I went last year, and though overwhelming, it was a very eye-opening experience of seeing their culture, beliefs, and meeting more people. I still don't fully understand what Dashi means, but I know it involves victory, sacrifice of food and money, and prayers to their gods are offered up. The festival lasts 9 days in total, but we just experienced the first day.

The Nepalis were especially excited to have their own Hindu priest at the service. This man against the wall is our friends Kamal and Chida's father - the priest. We are thankful to be friends with them as we continue to have an intimate glimpse into their culture and religious belief system.

There were probably three or four of us Americans there last year total. This year was completely different and I was not expecting it! There were many more Americans and our Nepali friends considered us "honored and respected guests", making announcements over the loudspeaker (new this year). They asked each of us to stand and waive to be acknowledged, we were given front row seats under the tent, we were served first with food, and we were given the chance to take the tika (which I declined, respectfully). As I sat there with other American friends, we were all deeply humbled, almost ashamed to be given so much attention! This was their festival, after all. But it was really awesome and exciting to see how our friendships have affected their experience here. So many people were very deeply blessed by our time there, by us helping them learn to drive, helping them get through their first Iowa winter, and just being their friend and liaison in an unfamiliar culture and country. A little bit really goes a long way. As I was driving away (I left early to attend a friend's baby shower) I thought what a shame it is that so many people living in my city have no idea that this is happening. They have no idea that there are neighbors around them who just want to learn to drive, who would love a ride to the store, who just want to make a friend, or learn English! They are hospitable, loving, unique people who want to connect.
Anyway, the festival began with a Friendship/Welcome Dance. It was so cool to see them dressed in authentic garb (as best as they could be with lack of Nepali clothing here), with their music blasting and excitement over a traditional dance. They didn't do this last year which made everything feel extra special. My favorite was little Matthias - can you spot him below? Our friends Trista and Matt have a 2-year old who would not sit still. Who can blame him with everyone else having a dance party?!? It was a great time being with friends and learning more about them.

Saturday afternoon I got to celebrate the upcoming birth of my friend Ruthie's first baby! I think it's a boy, but they're not telling. It was a "gender neutral" party where people gave really fun gifts. There was one gift consisting of 2 bags - one for a girl and one for a boy :) A lot of other things were exchangeable or really cute for being neutral.

I didn't know anyone else there, but I really enjoyed talking with Ruthie and having a glimpse into her life. She is so sweet and caring and has a great supportive group of family and friends. I'm so excited to meet their little bundle in December!

This morning was an equally exciting start to the day. Marcus and I took Brinkley down to the Des Moines Marathon happening in our neighborhood. It was a perfect weather day for a 26.2 mile run :) We saw a lot of people which is always so inspiring, at the 8 mile mark on Polk Blvd. The marathon in that area is so great because you can turn around and watch people coming up on the 16 mile marker, since the road is split in two by a boulevard. We were able to see the top 4 fastest runners - oh . . . my . . . word. They were INCREDIBLE! They were each running about a 5 minute mile at that point. I was shocked. They were about 45 minutes or more ahead of the people running in the 3:10 (3 hours, 10 minute) group - which is around the time you need to qualify for Boston or something. They were FAST.

Our favorite part was this one house where there was a live band on the lawn! It was really festive and encouraging for the runners to have so many people there cheering them on. If I was running, this would've been a memorable mile for me. I love Des Moines!

After the marathon we headed out to church. This morning we had a baby dedication at church. I'm constantly amazed at how many kids keep being born into our church families! They covered the entire width of the sanctuary and when extended families came up to pray with the children and parents, it was crowded! Really a cool sight to see. We had a lot of friends with babies get dedicated today, like Ben, Meredith and Baby Abe; Trista, Matt and 2-year-old Matthias; Derek, Liz and Little Caden; and so many more! We didn't snag any photos and actually left right away cause I wasn't feeling so hot, but you can enjoy this snapshot of Ben and Abe. He's so cute!!! Abe that is (no offense Ben!!).

This afternoon we've just been using up the nice weather to get things done. Marcus endured a huge allergy attack and got all the leaves raked and lawn mowed. I threw together a crockpot recipe for lunches this week (it smells sooooo good) and baked some pumpkin bars for work tomorrow. Speaking of which, I need to buy some cream cheese for the frosting so I better log off this thing. Back to enjoying a busy yet really fun fall weekend!

Just Trying to Survive

2010-10-13T11:38:00.002-05:00

That's the name of the game this month for me! I've neglected my blog in the midst of our crazy October season. Do I even still have readers? Who knows.

Is it bad to wish time away? Usually in response to this question I would give a resounding YES! Yes we should enjoy every minute of every day! But right now, its been difficult to live that out. I've got my eye on Monday, October 25. That is the day that so many things will change in this busy season. I will be free of certain burdens, we will finally have some days free of prior commitments or events, and I'm hoping for a breath of really fresh air. Really fresh fall, cool, leafy air :)

So if you can't find me here, you can find me out there surviving one day at a time. 11 more days . . .

Good Thing It's Friday

2010-09-24T09:25:00.003-05:00

We had a rough night last night. Sometimes, rarely, I have moments when I'm ready to send Brinkley away. This morning was one of those moments, let's be honest!

Background to the story:

I woke up in the middle of the night to our annoying neighbor a few houses down revving his engine and tearing off down the street like a madman. At THREE-THIRTY. Seriously? Well, it also awoke in me a need to pee so I headed for the bathroom. Now I have to interject here and say that for the last week and a half, Brinkley has been learning to sleep on her blanket on the couch in the living room. This has given us a breath of fresh air for sleeping through the night! Except on nights like last night. She must have heard the car, heard my loud creaky steps across the floor, and come to investigate. After enduring her barking, we finally picked her up and put her in bed with us.

Not a good idea.

She was licking and licking and LICKING. Loudly, I might add. I'm such a light sleeper that the littlest things keep me up or wake me up. Then to add insult to injury, she kept trying to snuggle between my legs and that was NOT working. I started to kick and flail and then I yelled "Arrrrrgh BRINKLEY!"

That's when Marcus grabbed her and his pillow and volunteered to sleep downstairs. Just so I could get some sleep. This is the selfless, giving, caring, amazing side of my awesome husband. I almost started crying because he was sacrificing so much. Nobody wants to sleep in the basement. Alone. With a dog wide awake in the middle of the night.

What happened this morning:

I woke up to my alarm and hit the shower at 6:30. Afterward I texted Marcus "Morning!!" so he would know it was time to get up. As I was getting ready in the bathroom, I hear yelling. Not just a nice "i'm just waking up and stretching and preparing to move" kind of yelling. But an angry, disgusted, frustrated, LOUD yell. I freeze and wait for him to come upstairs. A few minutes later Marcus comes hobbling across the dining room and into the bathroom, with poop on his foot.

Poop?!?

He tells me he woke up in the dark and swung his legs over the bed. He stood up and while walking toward the door, he stepped in poop. On the carpet. All over the bedroom. Sometime in the night, Brink must have tried to wake up sleeping Marcus, but after no reaction jumped down onto the carpet and let loose. This is not the first time she's pooped on carpet. Most of our house is hardwood floors, and she's trained enough to scratch the door when she needs out. But there's something about those few carpeted rooms - perhaps they feel soft and fluffy on her feet much like the grass in the backyard?

Anyway. Marcus went back downstairs to clean up her mess. While he was cleaning he noticed the bed felt wet. And yellow. Yep - you guessed it. Brinkley had peed on the duvet cover, and it soaked its way through to the comforter.

Needless to say, we were ready to kick her out of the house today. She barely ate any breakfast, wallowing in her shame and guilt. I dont know if that's true, but it seemed to be! Oh well, I hope she learned a lesson. And after all that, she pooped again when we took her outside. My oh my!

We're just glad it's finally Friday.

New Life

2010-09-15T14:35:00.003-05:00

It was so fun to see our good friends and meet my new Little Buddy today :)

Abraham Denver Cadwell came into the world yesterday at 12:13 p.m!

Labor sounded CRAZY but went super, super fast for Meredith. I'm so thankful and feel like there was a ton of answered prayer around that. She looks great, feels great, and is bouncing back quickly. Little Mr. was asleep when we arrived, and he slept in my arms until we left. He is the most perfect, snugglie, teenie, beautiful little baby boy! He kept making little squeaky noises and playing with his tongue on his lips. Adorable! I already can't wait to see him again.

Congratulations to Ben and Meredith, and welcome Baby Abe! I'm grateful for our friends and this exciting addition to their family.

"Cause I'm da Boss"

2010-09-14T09:11:00.002-05:00

Marcus and I have a new favorite show. We found it on Netflix, since we don't have cable or satellite TV. It's called Cake Boss. And it's seriously the boss!! (Okay, sorry for my old-school use of slang)

Well, I heard it through the grapevine that Buddy was taking his cake-making skills on tour. While shopping with my niece in the East Village last weekend we spotted a sign for the show in Des Moines! My awesome husband decided to make a date-night out of it, so we are going to the live show in November.

You can check out the info here. It's at Hoyt Sherman which is a venue I've never been in but looks amazing! I'm also particularly excited not only because we have great seats, but because there is audience participation. I would LOVE to be on stage with Buddy and help with some part of creating the awesomeness he comes up with. The show seriously blows us away - it's a serious form of art.

Thanks Marcus! Now, how can I convince him to come on stage with me . . .

Sickness

2010-09-13T07:45:00.003-05:00

I feel like I've been plagued with sickness this year! In just two weeks I have dealt with the stomach flu and now a major head/chest cold.

Sometimes I think it's just to remind me to slow down, take it easy, and get some rest.

But it's been hard missing work, missing events for friends and family, and always having to report "I'm not feeling well." I can't wait for this to pass. Maybe my body is trying to get through all the fall/winter sicknesses early so I can just enjoy a healthy season! Let's hope.

Another day of laying low. Going to get some reading in and some napping. Hoping to kick this cold's butt and be back to normal tomorrow!

Nearing My Goal

2010-09-09T13:29:00.005-05:00

19!

I've read that many books since the start of 2010. My reading total last year was 28, so my goal is to read at least 10 more books before the end of December. I just picked up three more books from the library. My first time using the campus library, and I realize they have a surprising selection of books from my to-read list! If you get books off the stacks (not the newest books on the front shelves. You know, the books tucked way back into the corner where the lights don't even come on until you're back there hunting for it) you can have them for the entire school year! Due date: May 2011. That is just crazy.

I've been inspired by my fellow readers over at Goodreads - have you checked out that website yet? I highly recommend it if you love to read. It's a great way to organize all the books you've read, those you are are currently reading, or books you want to read. You can categorize them with your own made up "shelves." And it's great when your friends sign up because you can see what they are reading and read their reviews. It's fantastic and I use it at least once a week lately :)

I'm grateful for two factors contributing to my fast-paced reading this month: the cooler fall weather and slow work days! When it's cold outside, I just want to open the windows, snuggle up on the couch with a blanket, and read a good book. I've been doing a lot of that before bedtime. At work, there's hardly anyone visiting. High schools just started their fall semesters, so it will be a few more weeks before students start taking time off school to visit colleges. For now, I'm thankful for these few weeks of diving into a good book!

On my reading list for the next week to couple weeks:

Change in Plans x 2

2010-09-07T14:19:00.004-05:00

Remember this post from a few weeks ago?

I'm really sad because it's not going to work out. Again! A few years ago it didn't work out because our plans to visit New York fell through. My sister Jess was going to school out there but decided it wasn't for her and moved home in the spring. Before we could visit, sadly. Erin (my blogger-friend) lives really close to where Jess was going to school so we had planned to swing by to meet up. Now this time, Erin won't be able to make it to Iowa because of changes to her travel plans. Her current travel buddy has the flu and a slipped disc :( Yikes! That is terrible. I can't imagine being on the road and sick and in so much pain. So, in the end I totally understand.

It just wasn't meant to be. This time. Maybe one of these years!

Happy Weekending!

2010-09-03T16:19:00.002-05:00

I love Labor Day Weekend. Especially this year - we're having amazing fall weather! Yesterday I went to family night in jeans, a light jacket, and flip flops. P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

This weekend will be fun from start to finish. I'm hanging with my girls tonight for ACT Night (art, crafts, treats), always a fun time.

Tomorrow Marcus and I are splitting the kiddos :) I'm going to hang with Miya in the afternoon and do girlie things while Marcus and Isaiah go to a soccer game and do boy things.

I love my Sundays that start with church at Westwind and somewhere for lunch afterward. Then it's up to my home-town for my mom's birthday bash. I'm hoping the weather stays as cool in the evening as it's been so we can do a bonfire! Oh, I love love love fall weather.

Monday will be a day of rest. I will be unlaboring on labor day :) We are also celebrating our last Monday night summer bible study with dinner out together and finishing our book study. After that, it's a full-fledged dive into fall.

Happy Labor Day Weekend everyone!

Worship

2010-09-01T17:43:00.003-05:00

I love the different ways we were created to worship the Lord. When our spirit resonates with the Holy Spirit, it's powerful. As of the last couple months, the songs we have been singing at church just hit me like a rock. My spirit wells up, the tears overflow, I stand in awe of who God is. In all His greatness, and in all my weakness, I am humbled.

These are a couple of songs I've been listening to over and over. They move me to tears almost every time. I wish I had a recording of our worship band - they sing these songs in such a powerful, simple, and beautiful way. I think I desire that, and am drawn to tears, because I can recall very specific Sunday mornings, or moments in life lately where these songs just pop into my head and match with my circumstance. I don't believe it's "coincidence" - I fully believe it's the Spirit's way of connecting us to the song of worship inside, the Spirit's work, and to God working in our moment by moment.

Here are the songs. Enjoy!

The third video won't embed so check out this link. It's a David Crowder song.

Passing Time?

2010-08-30T09:31:00.002-05:00

Do you ever feel like you're just wishing the days away? That's how I feel. I don't want to hurry through these days, and yet so much of me really does. The last couple days of August are just . . . creeping . . . by.

September will be full of fun starting from day one! Marcus and I have plans to meet up on Wednesday for lunch (we hardly EVER get to do this during the work week!), it's Labor Day a week from today which means a three day weekend awaits us, my niece Miya turns 7 and she's chosen to celebrate with a Hair, Nails, and Makeup party! My role is to do all the little girls' hair styles, for which I'm so so so excited! I'm already brainstorming (I think I should've been a beautician by trade). We're doing a good-ol'-fashioned grill out/campfire/game night for my mom's birthday, I have two baby showers on the same day our church is celebrating its new location with a "carnival" after a service, we throw in National-Talk-Like-A-Pirate-Day, and then Alyssa (my new coworker) gets married! It's a full, fun, eventful month. Oh and did I mention I'm hopeful that fall weather arrives in September? I am itching to get my sweaters and jeans back out of the closet. And I'm done with sweating outside at 7 a.m. Gross.

So although I shouldn't wish away time, I am doing just that. How can I make the most out of today and tomorrow? I think now I'll turn to bible study and reading my book. Here's to the end of August and the farewell to summer!

Back to School = Back to Slow Days

2010-08-26T10:07:00.004-05:00

People are going back to school all over America, which means nobody is coming to visit campus. I mean, there are days. But on a mid-week day like today, we have zero visitors. We didn't even print a piece of paper to look at. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

When these days hit, I have to remember to be THANKFUL. It's easy to complain about how long the day feels, how slowly the hours creep past. It's not hard to want those crazy-pull-your-hair-out-cause-you're-so-stressed-days back, even though during those times, you'd give anything for a lull. Funny how we always want what we don't have. This time, I've vowed to make the most of it and get some mental rest before the next round of insanity hits in about a month. Two years under my belt as of tomorrow. I'm learning some things.

Here's what has been keeping me "busy" these last few days:

Beginning my day in prayer. Did you know we're in the midst of the season of Ramadan? In the Muslim religion, this is a time of fasting from dawn until sunset. I have been lifting up our Muslim friends in prayer. It's also been eyeopening to learn about different people groups throughout the world and what is going on outside of my little sphere of life. To pray for someone thousands and thousands of miles away in need is a great privilege. I've also recently been asked to join a prayer team for some friends of ours starting a new ministry outreach. How great is it that while in the midst of our day, we can just turn to the Lord in prayer. This is one of the biggest blessings we have that we often neglect. I like this "secret ministry" right here at my work desk!
I've been reading. I'm way off track for meeting my reading goal for the year so I'm trying to get back at it while I can. Currently I'm reading Ultra Marathon Man by Dean Karnazes. Remember when I was reading his blog way back when about his goal to run 50 marathons in 50 consecutive days, in 50 states? Reading this book is a deeper glimpse into his life. It's included some unexpected facts like how his high school track coach turned him off to running for 15 years because of choice harsh words, how he had a midlife crises around age 30 and got back into running, and just how far the human body can be pushed and still survive. It's a quick, fun read if you're interested. Next up on my list is Water for Elephants. Will be a completely different kind of book after this one!
Getting to know our students. It's so wonderful to work with younger people again. I love turning around in my chair and chatting with them about their lives. I love how they look into our adult lives and have so many questions and remarks. It's a great reminder to me to keep an open mind, to remember not to take life so seriously but find all the joy in it, and also makes me feel great that I'm not in college anymore :) There's something so wonderful about having worked with some of these guys/gals for the last two years as well. Relationship development is probably the number one desire of mine; I couldn't ask for a better job that allows me to do that on a daily basis.
Blog Reading. Seriously, there are SO MANY great blogs out there! I feel like this has been a way the Lord ministers to my heart, through the voices of others out there. I learn a lot about so many different things from cooking to parenting to forgiveness to entertainment to theology. And I love connecting with random strangers. We share so much in common with those around us - we just need to open up more to each other!
Office decorating! This is so fun. I am kind of a geek about cleaning/rearranging. And I'm a super-geek about new office supplies! My supervisor wanted us to "class-up" the student work area so she went all out and bought matching file bins, pen holders, nametag bins, and so on. My bulletin board is not throwing up a million pieces of paper anymore, and I can actually find things in my drawers again. It's refreshing. Starting a new year with new organization. Oh and we're getting a new chair to replace the broken one. Finally. I said something to Patsy and she was like "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Uh, didn't realize it was so simple. And so free! It's been broken for a year and we just trade it around until someone pulls the armrest and it flies in their face. I think we'll all be fighting over the new one when it arrives!

Needless to say, I'm being a bit productive. And I'm thankful for a staff who understands the ebb and flow. We can read a book now because they know in a month we'll be so busy we barely fit everything into the work day. I really, really, really love my job. Even when it's this slow.

Signs of Summer's Departure

2010-08-23T13:37:00.003-05:00

It was strange to wake up today and realized I'd have to leave my house 10 minutes earlier just to find parking on campus. I miss having the leisure of arriving around 7:59 and still having plenty of parking options right by my office.

There are students walking around campus with backpacks on. And they looked like they were only kids. Man, I'm getting older.

My work-day has been an influx of hugs and greetings of students who are back from summer break. I'm not getting much done because all I want to do is hear about their last three months.

I miss Katie. She always had inside stories, specific questions to ask, and funny antics regarding the students and made everyone laugh. Since Alyssa doesn't know many people yet, it's just me. Things change, I know. But I miss her today.

A week from Wednesday it's September. Are. You. Kidding me???

There are only 16 weeks until I have to say good-bye to some seniors. When I started here two years ago, they were sophomores starting their first shift in the office. I feel like we began here "together." My heart is very near to them and I think they'll be the hardest for me to let go of.

Connection groups at church are about to start back up. We're having a reconnecting night this Wednesday - can't wait to see everyone.

Our summer Bible Study is wrapping up. With just two or three more Mondays left, it really feels like summer is ending. I remember starting sitting on the back porch with Ben and Meredith, wondering where this would go. We are ending now having added three or four more people to the group and learning a TON about the Word. It's been awesome. It's been investigative in nature. It's been authentic. I'm sad to see it end.

Oh summer. It has been different, interesting, and unpredictable this year. It has been HOT and ungracious to with its high humidity and rain. It's been full of new people and new experiences. In the end, I'm thankful for it. And so now I begin to transition into fall with an open mind. The new school year, the new weather, the new life-circumstances. Farewell summer. Until next year.

True Neighbors

2010-08-19T21:12:00.003-05:00

Tonight Marcus had to work late until after 7:00 p.m. (on his birthday!). After eating dinner and getting some laundry going, we quickly found ourselves at dusk/darkness and still had some outdoor work to get done. We're having people over to our house tomorrow night, and I really wanted to clean up the cobwebs, sticks and leaves on our front porch from last weekend's storm so they can come in the front door. Around 9:00 p.m. Marcus headed outside to see what could be done even though it was dark.

He came back in laughing and told me this story.

Marcus was out front cleaning the cobwebs on the porch and trimming down the tree with his clippers in one hand and a flashlight in the other. All of a sudden, he was accosted by our neighbors! The elderly couple next door had suddenly appeared "walking their dog" Chum and he was barking up a storm while the lady held him back. Their 38 year old son who lives with them whipped his car into OUR driveway with the lights shining on Marcus. And Russ from across the street ran over to see what was going on. All of this happened within a minute's time!

Marcus, stunned, turned around and shouted "Hey guys it's me! I'm just out here doing some last-minute yard work!" They all brushed it off like it was no big deal, they were just passing by.

HA! Right. That is a true sign of how quickly our neighbors may respond if there was a REAL burglary going on at the Burrier house! I was impressed and surprised. It was funny at first, but now I feel a deep thankfulness that we have built a relationship with these people so much so that they would do whatever it takes to ensure we are safe!

A Blogger Meet-Up?

2010-08-17T08:45:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's TRUE!

At the end of September, I may get to meet a blogger friend!

I received a really fun email from a blogger-friend I've "known" since probably 2006. She has such a tender heart, loves the Lord and has a heart for people, loves photography, and is super crafty. She is going to be driving from Vancouver back to her home near Niagara Falls. When my sister Jess was going to school in New York, Marcus and I planned to visit her and along the way stop and meet Erin. However, Jess decided to come back home to Iowa and we never got the chance to visit.

I think this may be our opportunity!

Erin is so sweet and is planning to drive through the States on her way home just to meet and see people. And I'm so humbled that she's coming all the way to Iowa just to see me. I feel super honored! Watch out for a September update on this. I'm really excited!

A Brinkley-Bear Update

2010-08-09T10:41:00.002-05:00

Our little miss Brinkley Bear is on the verge of turning 6 months old! I took her in for an immunization today that usually gives her some discomfort and makes her sleepy. She's just so darn cute laying on the blanket beside me!

We've been so grateful for our little puppy. There's something so amazing about having a pet - especially dogs. Brinkley is so uplifting, always excited to see us. She is playful and makes us laugh constantly. And she seems to have a sixth sense - when something's wrong, she snuggles right up to you and lets you know she cares. We've also learned a lot about caring for something - it often comes with a lack of sleep, sacrificing our plans, and gaining discipline and responsibility. Training for parenting? Maybe!

While we're on the topic of Brinkley, does anyone have any suggestions for puppy training? We're looking at a couple local options, but wonder what works for others. It's time to train her some obedience (learning to sit, to come, to leave it, stop biting, etc) before she develops bad habits. Our snuggle-puppy is great, but its becoming less frequent to her crazy energy these days!

Happy 6-month birthday soon, Miss Brinks!

PS - we nicknamed her Brinkley Bear because she often stands on her hind legs and bats at things with her front feet. She looks like a grizzly bear :)

In Denial

2010-07-30T09:36:00.003-05:00

I'm in serious denial that summer is on it's way out.

The first week of August usually signifies the close of summer in my office. We always take part in the large visit program that many Iowa private colleges put on. It's by far the largest visit week we have at work. After that new students will begin to move into campus, classes begin August 23, and hello - it's practically September! So alas, today we are saying so long to summer hours, so long to an atmosphere of casualness, and so long to being with particular student workers 8 hours a day! The last two summers in my office have been extremely memorable and the people here make my job something I wake up and WANT to go to every day. It's a pretty amazing blessing. Not many people can say that.

There are only a few more weekends left before the pools close, universities fill back up, and things go back to being busy. I'm going to enjoy today at work and this weekend in Minnesota to its fullest and keep being in denial! I like it better that way :)

How Do You Say Goodbye?

2010-07-23T11:58:00.002-05:00

One of my husband's best friends is leaving town and heading north. Andrew has officially accepted a job in Minnesota and will be moving in just one week! We have been praying for Andrew for a long time - asking the Lord to direct his heart and to place him in a job/city he loves. He has a heart for so many things and has had a lot of opportunities, but just wasn't sure which path to take. Until now.

Andrew took a leap last year and moved to Des Moines. He has been working a few jobs, living with another friend of Marcus', and attending church with us at Westwind. He recently joined our Monday night study which has been super sweet. Andrew knows the Word so well, has a really tender heart towards people, and the Spirit speaks through him often. He has also been getting to know our Nepali friends and they always speak so highly about him! But we have also known the unrest in Andrew. This wasn't quite . . . it . . . for him. We've been watching and waiting to see where the Lord would lead him.

The news of his upcoming move is extremely bittersweet. Andrew has been a close friend to Marcus since they were in their later high school years. They kept in touch through college and afterwards became neighbors in Ames in 2005. Andrew and Marcus have roadtriped/hiked in Colorado twice. He has been a close confidant and accountability partner to my husband, and there have been many times they have been there for each other when things got tough. To me personally, Andrew has always been encouraging, someone who makes me laugh, loving, someone who loves people and God's heart for the nations, caring, thoughtful, and a speaker of truth. I have a special place in my heart for that man and it almost brings me to tears thinking of him leaving! The sweet part about it is this is something Andrew really wants. He is going to have a job he has desired since college, he will be living closer to a couple of close friends from college, Minneapolis is one of the biggest multiethnic/multicultural cities in the midwest, and he will only be 3 hours away :) Maybe our IKEA trips will become more frequent now that we have a close friend to stop and see!

Andrew, you will be extremely missed by our household (except maybe Brinkley, since you never really show her love - lol! But her tail always wags when you stop by!). We will miss seeing you on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. But overall, we are excited for you and supporting your decision. Thanks for being such a great friend to my husband! We are better people because you have been in our life. And I'm glad we get to help you move next weekend so we don't have to say good-bye . . . yet!

Ah, Sweet Summer

2010-07-21T14:49:00.002-05:00

I guess summer for me comes with a lot of reading, a lack of blogging, and a LOT of fun at work! It has been a few months since I last written and so much has been happening in our little ol' life. It's been great to just "be" living in the moment and enjoying what's in front of me rather than running to my computer every day. However, it has led to a pretty boring blog here!

I'll be back I promise. For now, I'm going to list out some things that have been happening this summer. It's shaping up to be a fast, different, yet fulfilling summer for us!

Summer in my office has been awesome! I was sad and took a long time to adjust to Katie leaving. I think most of me will always miss working with her. However, it's been great to have Alyssa on board and to get to know a few of our students really well (too well probably!). Summer in Cole Hall definitely has a really different feel, and I love it!
I have successfully completed all 7 Harry Potter books. I can't find anything that quite matches up to it, but I'm enjoying diving into some other books. I'm still behind if I want to reach my yearly goal!
I have been battling with some illness for the past month (nothing major) but I'm on the up and up. During those three weeks of feeling icky, I learned that I have a major problem: guilt. I've now begun learning how to say no to things without feeling guilty, and I've learned that it's okay to take time to slow down and get refreshed. Sometimes forced sickness really reveals a lot of sin in my life, and reveals ways I can make an active change. I feel like I missed out on a lot, but overall I've gotten to know the Lord better and myself.
I cannot get the song "Baby" by Justin Bieber and the song "Flying Solo" by Chris Brown out of my head. Thank you for that, Allen and Emily!
My dog Brinkley is one of the best additions to our family. I couldn't be more thankful for her and the laughter and comfort she brings. I am so glad we decided to become pet owners!
My husband is amazing. In the past couple weeks we have both been feeling a lot closer, and we are learning as the years go on what marriage can really hold for our edification and growth. Marcus constantly challenges me with his compassion, his faithfulness, his integrity and honesty, and his ability to be quick to forgive. And did I mention he makes me laugh into tears almost on a daily basis? I love that man!
We lost a family member this week, Marcus' grandpa Marlin Ingebretson. There is great sadness for his passing, but also a sense of comfort knowing he is not suffering anymore and is with the Lord. I have always heard of his great love, humility, artistic talent, funny puns (that's where Marcus gets it), love for the Lord, and ability to teach. But it was a wonderful experience to be in the presence of so many people who spoke of him firsthand this weekend. We continue to be so blessed by the family we are a part of.
Our camera is officially done for. I left it on the car and Marcus drove away before I remembered. It was smushed to pieces in the busy intersection by our house :( No fun pictures here for awhile!
I'm a part of a summer Bible study and I have to say - it is rocking me. It reminds me a lot of SMR 2003 when we did the summer overview of the Bible. When you explore the ENTIRE picture and story in this amazing book, you will not be disappointed. It's been so refreshing and a really awesome way to meet some new people. I'm thankful for new friends I've made and growing in truth with some old ones. I wouldn't have had such a great summer without the study on Monday nights.
I want to see Inception. Everyone is talking about it!!!
We are getting our house settled into more of a "home" this month. It's great to have a place of rest to be in at the end of our crazy hectic days. We are working on painting our bedroom, making a table for the living room, and planning some rennovation projects for the next year.
I've only been to the pool twice. It's time to rectify this problem! This fish-out-of-water feeling is starting to wear on me :)

Off the Deep End?

2010-06-29T15:57:00.002-05:00

Has anyone out there tried homemade deodorant? I may be diving off the deep end here, but I've been seriously considering making a batch and trying it out. This may be TMI - but I've been having some tenderness in my ladies in the area under my arms and wondered if it's my razors or my deodorants. I thought it was worth a try, especially to avoid adding aluminum to my pits and any medical issues this may be causing.

I've printed off 2 recipes from a couple gals who make it and use it. They actually recommend it, saying that it's cheap, it smells good, it makes them smell better when sweating than when using store-bought, and that it can last a long time.

I'll blog if I decide to do it. I'm a HUGE sweater (thanks to my Grandpa's genes on my mom's side!) and have some worry that without an antiperspirant I will be a drippy mess. But sweating is GOOD for the body, so why try and prevent it? Hmmm. Still in contemplation mode :)

California Girls

2010-06-21T17:45:00.005-05:00

It's official - I need to get the Katie Perry song out of my head! My California experience was way better than the dumb lyrics in her song. I mean come on - I didn't see THAT many people wearing daisy dukes with bikini tops. Maybe I missed out on that side of L.A!

Thursday morning I boarded a plane and headed for the west coast! It was a great day to leave Iowa behind - it was "So long, 90 degree weather and humidity. Hello awesome weather!" Arriving to LAX and stepping outside felt like I'd entered springtime. The weather was PERFECT. I wish that was Iowa every day.

Joanna and Mary whisked me away from the airport for a quick drive into Long Beach where we met Joni and some of her family/wedding party. I also got to meet Mike for the first time! Sadly, we did not converse more than a few times, and it was just greetings. I wish I had some alone time with them to get to know him better. However, I was there for Joni so on we went! We dove straight into jewelry making and napkin/fork folding. Joanna and the gals were working hard on earrings and necklaces that the 8 bridesmaids and 10 lovely ladies would wear during the wedding. Marry and I wrapped a couple hundred forks in napkins. It was lovely to be in Joni's home, conversing with people I had never met, and doing mindless tasks. True girl-time at the core!

Thursday night we headed down to Bolsa Chica beach for Joni's bachelorette party. She wanted chill and chill it was - literally! We hung out at the fire pit and made some hobo dinners (meat and veggies wrapped in foil and baked by the coals) and smores.

I also explored the beach by dipping my toes into the water - until huge waves brought water up to my knees! It was so windy that the water was flowing in a lot faster than I thought. It felt SO AMAZING to be in the ocean again. Yet another reason I could get used to California :) It was an evening to celebrate Joni and get to know other women in her life that would be part of her big day. It was so fun to hear how everyone knows Joni and ways that she has impacted their life. It was so funny for Joni and I to tell others "This is only the third time we've been together face to face" - since most of our friendship has been through letters! We are keeping the US Postal Service alive and well as long as we can :) Two years and many, many, many letters later, we have formed a unique friendship.

Friday morning Joanna, Mary and I woke up and got right to work on the jewelry. There was a little worry that this might not get done all on her own - so I was glad Joanna let us help her. She designed all the amazing jewelry but didn't have enough hands! It was really fun and a relaxing way to spend the day - also felt good to be helping out.

About halfway through the day we completed the task with a lot of relief! We took a brief walk in the neighborhood to find the must-have burger joint in California: In 'N Out. If I'm honest, it wasn't all that I was expecting. I mean, there's a TON of hype about this burger joint from nearly everyone who visits/lives there! I've had Five Guys out on the East coast, and I have to say - they are pretty similar. Fresh-cooked meat, potatoes chopped daily/fresh for the fries, and cool ownership stories. I dunno, they remain on equal playing fields in my book. Let's just leave it at that :)

The rest of Friday was spent baking pies with some great gals I'd never met. Heidi and Megan came over to help us out - and it was really fun getting to know them. I had heard of Heidi before (her husband Tim was on staff at the University of Hawaii with Joni's fiance Mike) but never met her until then. She was seriously one of the most intentional, authentic, sweet people I have ever met! Every time I was near her/walking past she said something nice or offered some help. I really enjoyed talking with her this weekend. I just kept learning this the more and more I spoke to people in Joni's life: she surrounds herself with some amazing people and brings a lot of joy into their lives. I felt so honored to be part of it.
After pies, we headed over to Rush Park for the wedding rehearsal! Four hours later, we were well prepared for the wedding day. It takes a lot of time to decorate a wedding for 700 guests, and a lot of time to get 18 ladies down the aisle before Joni came with her parents! But it was a lot of fun. We all went back to her parents house for an evening of Mexican food and hanging out.

Saturday morning we all woke up and got ready for Joni's big day! The "June gloom" (every morning in June it's hazy/cloudy but it never rains - and it always clears up around noon) went away extra early that day, and the sun in all its glory brought just about the most perfect day you could ask for a wedding! We loaded up and headed back to Rush Park to get the day started.

Joni looked incredibly lovely and it was so fun to take photos outside. Here is a group shot of her bridesmaids and Lady of Honor - her sister Jodi.

(Left to right: Jennifer - her fave cousin; Lackeyna a high-school friend; Joanna my BFF; Jodi her sister; Beth someone she's known since they were really young; Emily on staff with Navs and roommate; Chi a friend from Japan; and Audrey a high school friend)

Here are all 10 Lovely Ladies - I felt incredibly, incredibly honored to be standing up there with these women. It was humbling to wonder why she chose me - she clearly has a lot of amazing women friends in her life!

(Left to right: Me; Ojen; Lisa; Jane; Tara who disciples Joni; Lori; Emma; Jodi; Stephanie; and Tiffany)

Joni kept taking photos with the gals underneath her veil - it was so fun! She whispered something special to each gal after the photo was taken. It was a neat way to have an intimate moment together since the rest of the day/weekend was so crazy busy! I love Joni - she is always so intentional and caring. And she just looked so b-e-a-utiful!

The wedding was beautiful. I loved the words of the pastor and kind of wish I had it on record. His words were so unique and profound. They also said their own vows which was really fun - reminded me of my own wedding. And although I didn't post it here, I got video to remember their VERY FIRST KISS EVER!!! It was a beautiful moment for them, and for us to celebrate their walk of purity. These are two really amazing people.

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Mike and Joni Cain!!!

I will spare most of the nasty details about what happened next - but suffice to say, I missed the rest of the wedding reception. I sat in the bathroom for about and hour and a half before Mikey graciously took me back to their house. I was soooooooo sick. In both ways. Mikey was wonderful: getting me ice chips, not making me feel bad about puking in the toilet, offering Pepto Bismol, and helping me find a new flight home since I missed my flight that night. An aweful and potentially embarrassing experience was avoided because I have some really, really great friends in Mikey, Joanna and Mary! They took care of me and rested with me Saturday night.

I'm home now and very glad, but already looking forward to connecting again with Joni. It was a whirlwind California wedding and travel weekend but it was all entirely worth it. I'm so grateful for this new season in my friend's life!

***Before leaving for the wedding, I broke our camera :( I left it on the back of the car, and Marcus drove away before I realized it. We found it smushed in the middle of University Ave. So until a new one can be purchased, all photos above and to come will be from my iPhone! I apologize for their lack of great quality!***

Wedding Bells

2010-06-16T08:42:00.003-05:00

At this time tomorrow, I will be sitting in the Chicago airport waiting for my flight out to Southern California! I'm so honored to have been invited to participate in miss Joni Poon's wedding this weekend. I will be staying with my good friend Joanna, her husband Mikey, and their friend Mary. I'll get to enjoy a bonfire tomorrow night on the beach near the Pacific Ocean, do some decorating and wedding rehearsing Friday, and celebrate two people becoming one on Saturday afternoon!

I'm excited to see Joni and learn more about Mike. It may be the last time we see each other face to face for a long time, since they are moving down to Hawaii! I'm looking forward to having some time with Jo and Mikey and exploring their lives in California. This also may be my last chance to spend time with them face to face, since they will be moving to Japan in 2011! Could be a weekend of many last-chance hugs for awhile. I'm hopeful for no-humidity and sunshine, along with a chance to get to know some new people. I'm determined to make it a fun weekend!

The only downside is gearing up for a lack of sleep - with the time change, late-night activities, and a red-eye flight home, I may be in a mess by Sunday :) When I'm sleep deprived, I become emotional, crazy-energetic, and a bit unstable! But it's seriously all worth it.

Adios, Iowa. Aloha, California!

Uh Oh.

2010-06-04T10:19:00.004-05:00

You know you're reading too much Harry Potter when . . . . .

You see a Firebolt Quidditch broom sticking out of a man's backpack. But when he gets closer on his motorcycle you realize it was a tennis racquet.
While standing in the backyard you notice a large stick by the garage. All the sudden it transforms into a giant moving spider - but it was all in your mind's eye.
When drawing pictures with your 6.5 year old niece, you draw a magic wand instead of a princess crown.
When your husband does something irritating, you try to put an Imperius Curse on him instead of slapping his shoulder and saying "Hey!"
You dream you live in a castle where all the staircases move.

I am seriously enjoying these books! I'm deep into book 5 and have my mind set on finishing all 7 before the end of the summer. At this pace, I will probably finish before the end of June, especially with two plane rides coming in a few weeks :)

A Weekend to Remember

2010-05-17T14:07:00.009-05:00

It happened! It finally happened. If any of you know me, you know one of my favorite movies is Dan in Real Life. This movie is a love story, but my favorite part has to do with the family reunion. A family of people who have come together for the weekend and spend time together in community, singing, laughing, telling stories, enjoying an old house, playing games, crying together, and just being a family. Real community. Ever since I've seen that movie, I have always wanted my very own "Dan in Real Life" moment. Well I finally got one this weekend!

On Friday we traveled to Dubuque, IA for my in-laws' 35th wedding anniversary. It was a complete surprise for Karen, so it was so much fun to watch the events unfold all weekend! However, the planning began a few months ago, with David organizing two different events to celebrate their anniversary. So let me back up a little.

On family night the day after their actual anniversary (May 3), we all piled into vehicles and drove to the Ankeny rest stop. This was the location that David proposed to Karen, so we blindfolded her until we arrived. There, they shared the story of how and why he proposed there. After taking some photos we went to dinner (Mexican, Karen's favorite) and played a fun game back at the Pines to see how much Karen and David remembered from the last 35 years. It was a night of great weather, good food, lots of laughs, and stories from their past. I felt like I got to know my in-laws in a new way!

Isaiah is all smiles at the rest stop.

Miya's so gangsta' :)

The Burrier family 35 years later!

I love that everyone is looking except Isaiah!

The second part of the anniversary surprise was well-planned by David. Unbeknownst to Karen, David had arranged for our entire family and 5 other couples to spend this past weekend at The Hancock House Bed and Breakfast in Dubuque to celebrate their anniversary. Karen thought they were driving out there with just one couple. When they arrived to the restaurant, she was very surprised to see all us kids/spouses! About 10 minutes later, two more couples arrived to surprise her! We enjoyed a fabulous dinner - seriously some of the best food I've ever eaten - including many laughs, fun stories, and "newlywed" kisses after clinging silverware on our glasses :)

Karen and I celebrating the start to a great weekend.

My goofy husband and I :)

Joni and Derek, the source of so much fun throughout our weekend! It all began with those "stallion medallions". . . . .

After dinner we headed over to the B&B to settle in for the evening. We sat out on the porch watching the night sky over the river, enjoyed some stories from Sue and Chuck (owners of the B&B), and laughed so much at Brian walking around in his red robe with his wine. We also found this fun section of the guest book where Marcus and I had signed in during our summer getaway after our wedding reception!

This house has a lot of history for the Burrier/Pine family. We all stayed at the Hancock House after our weddings, and Karen and David have been there numerous times to visit the Huntleys or just to get away. It's a special place in our family.

Saturday morning we started the day out with Sue's famous breakfast. Fabulous french toast and fruit - yum! It was fun sitting around the table and singing a'capella together. Dave and Karen's friends can sure harmonize together - it actually brought tears to my eyes! Such a beautiful moment sitting amongst so many of their closest friends. After breakfast we loaded up for a two hour boat ride on the Spirit of Dubuque. It was a bit sunny! And difficult to take a serious photo!

Although it was not super exciting the second time around, we made the most of it with stories, tours of the upper deck, and card games :) Upon departing the boat, we entered the part of the weekend that was the MOST uncomfortable/out of the ordinary. Unfortunately Dave had not planned this part ahead of time in great detail, so we all felt like creepers! He wanted to go to Clara's house - apparently she used to babysit for Joni, Brian and Marcus. However they couldn't remember exactly where her house was, so we ended up driving four cars down the street, extremely slow, in a shady-looking neighborhood! We were certain we'd not find the house but instead end up part of a drug deal or worse. Okay, I'm being extreme but that's what it felt like! After Dave bravely knocked on a few houses and went door to door, they found Clara's house but no Clara. She had sadly passed on and nobody in her family lived there any longer. I was ready to get the heck out of there! However, we acted as creepers again as we went in search of the Burriers' old house when they'd lived in Dubuque. We found it eventually, and out of the goodness of her heart the young gal who owns it now allowed us to take some photos of the fam in front of her house! Derek said he'd never felt more outside of his comfort zone, and I was totally with him! You never know what David Burrier will do!!!

Later that day we shopped around downtown, rode the 4th Street Elevator (the shortest, steepest in the world, I've heard), and met up with two more couples that would be staying with us at the B&B. Karen was so deeply surprised to walk around the corner and run into them! More laughter and tears came up!

Once we were all gathered back at the Hancock House, we spent some time out on the porch enjoying the weather and community of people. The men finished off the puzzle from the parlor of games just in time for dinner!More and more people arrived to celebrate and surprise Karen! I met people who used to be in their small group, people they knew from church, people who used to babysit the kids, and then this really, really amazing man.
Dick Kruse brought me to tears. I think I was already emotional from having met such genuine, amazing, faithful, and authentic people all weekend. But Dick Kruse has a special place in my heart. He was one (if not THE one) of the first people to come see Marcus when he was diagnosed with cancer at 15. Dick was such a faithful, prayerful man who had the tenderest of all hearts toward Marcus. The last time he'd seen Marcus was when he had his chest stint in (which he received his chemo through) - this means its been about 12 years. Dick had tears flowing down as he gave Marcus a hug and they reminisced about that time in life. Dick also shared about his involvement with the Honor Flights taking place - war veterans are taking men and women who served during WWII out to Washington, DC to visit the war memorial. Some of these people have NEVER seen the monument, and he was told to expect a lot of people to share stories that they'd never told anyone in their life. These people are in their 80's and even 90's now. I can't even imagine. Oh my emotions were running thick - what a sweet, sweet man with such a servant heart! His faith was evident, his life full, and his heart overflowing. He gave me the biggest hug and told me I have a special place with him because of my love for Marcus. I just about lost it. In fact as we were serving dinner the tears just came a'flowin! I've heard so many stories over the years about people who stood by Marcus through his bout with cancer, but when you put a face with a name and that person hugs you through tears and you see just how much he really cared/cares, it hits like a ton of bricks. Such a sweet moment for me.

Dinner was a funny experience - all of us kids/spouses were placed at the kids table! We volunteered actually, since we have family night every week. We wanted their friends to have time with David and Karen. But still - pretty funny to feel like we'll never quite grow up to reach the adult table!
Before dessert was served, Dave and Karen shared a really funny story about Dave's 30th birthday party. As a joke, Karen had a large amount of individual cakes made by someone in town. She had made them into perfectly shaped BOOBS with little gumdrop nipples! Oh my, it was fall-off-your-chair funny listening to them tell this story about sweet, innocent Karen! The story ends with Dave taking a huge bite out of one without knowing the gumdrops were held in place with a toothpick. He impaled the roof of his mouth with the toothpick and had blood dripping everywhere - not a good ending to the birthday surprise! Anyway, David "recreated" that memory this weekend with Sue. The two of them made cupcakes and decorated them in a similar fashion. It was so funny and so inappropriate!

After dinner we sat around the large breakfast table while Dave introduced each couple in the room and why they were chosen to be a part of the weekend. It was a great way to get to know each other and to hear some of the hardships and joys they'd all been through together. They shared some more funny stories as they came up - along with the "belt" story. Just so happened that Steve, Dave's best man in their wedding, had had this story in mind before he came out for the weekend. As Dave was telling the story, Steve told him to open his gift. It was the perfect moment, they were obviously remembering the same exact memory at the same time!

Dave and Karen finished off the evening by singing a song they'd written together for their wedding, to sing to their parents. Sadly neither set of parents were able to be there this weekend, but it was a beautiful, tear-filled moment for Joni, Brian and Marcus to hear the song. After they sang this and other songs Dave has written over the years, we spent an hour sharing hardships everyone had been through. Stories of how Dave and Karen have walked alongside their friends, and vice-versa. People were sharing stories they'd never shared with other people - I felt so deeply blessed to be a part of it. I learned a huge lesson this weekend: suffering and hardships build deep character and depth of relationship. My biggest hope is that someday when I'm their age (Lord-willing), I will have a similar relationships with people: deep, authentic, drop-everything-to-be-there-for-each-other relationships. The kind where even if 15 years have gone by since we saw them last, we are able to pick up right away. The kind that withstand the worst and the best moments of life.

I was so emotionally spent by the end of the evening that I'm glad we ended it with a laughing moment. All of us couples have stayed at least once at the Hancock House, and we've all stayed in the same room! We firmly believe the Doll Room is the best room - we recommend it! So in honor of that memory, we all took a photo together by the whirlpool tub :)

Happy 35th Anniversary to my in-laws! Thank you for your faithfulness to one another, for giving an example to us of the value of marriage and not of divorce. Thank you for your wisdom through experience, both good and bad. Thank you for sharing your hardships and suffering so we can see that people survive even the absolute worst possible things that can happen in life. Thank you for your hilarious stories and for allowing us to see the ridiculous side of your life! Thanks for letting us be a part of celebrating such a memorable milestone in life. It made for one of the most memorable weekends I've ever had.

I'm Still Here

2010-05-14T10:30:00.002-05:00

I have been neglecting my pretty little blog for quite some time, but alas I am still here! Spring has been full and moving along a fairly fast pace in the Burrier household. The lovely weather in April gave us plenty of open-window days and a chance to find out what kind of flowers were hiding in our yard. We've seen daffodils, tulips, hostas, lemon balm, lots of weeds :) and a few other flowers we can't identify. I've also had some fleeting thoughts of building a garden out back - but that's a someday kind of thought. Brinkley Bear (her common nickname) has made herself at home and is adjusting really well. We have so much fun with her, even when she's acting insane. She just has so much puppy energy! She has started a new game with us - acting like she needs to go outside, when instead she just wants to eat sticks, rocks, bird poop, and make us chase her all around. But she makes up for her craziness with her cuteness. She's super snuggly when she's tired, and in the morning she wakes us up with her kisses and then snuggles down beside us until our alarm goes off.

May has been a month of goodbyes and rain! We are graduating 9 seniors from my office, and after giving out their awards and seeing them say their final farewells this week, I realize I am really going to miss them. We have hired such quality students and I'll miss their friendship and stories on a daily basis. I've found myself just feeling lonley about it, and probably extra lonely since Katie is not here anymore. Just Wednesday we had our final small group gathering for the year, enjoying a grill out and conversations (sadly, we forgot our meat so it was more like a salads dinner for us!). We've been a part of Westwind Church for a full year now, and this has been a way to get to know other couples better. We don't know what will happen now, if we'll remain in group with the same people or branch off to start a new group, but we're looking forward to what's to come. I think there are plans this summer to do a bible study with a few people, so I'm looking forward to that.

This weekend we're getting away from Des Moines, but I can't reveal details now. I will try and post more about it afterward, since it's bound to be super fun! I'm giddy with excitement waiting for 3:30 to roll around - I'm outta here! Also on a high note - I found my camera's computer cord!!! I have been looking for that thing for almost a year. Last night I was hunting for another bag to pack my stuff and found a purse from last spring. I brought it upstairs and felt something bulging on the front pocket. To my surprise, there was the cord. I don't know what inspired me to put it there, but my only guess is that's where it ended up during our frantic packing of the apartment last May/June!

I'm off to do some book reading and event planning. It's slow around my office lately, May has finally arrived! The lull of summer hours beginning will be a nice cool down after a crazy-busy school year on campus. On the docket for summer plans in the office: Billy and I plan to read all seven Harry Potter books; Lil and I are coordinating a high-school-flashback event; students return from study-abroad; and of course a little bit of work as it comes :)

Ch-ch-changes!

2010-04-24T09:41:00.003-05:00

We have experienced a LOT of change this week! On Sunday we welcomed home the newest member of our family, Brinkley Bear! That's her newest nickname, and wow she is the greatest puppy! We had planned for it to be really difficult to go through this change, but it's been pretty smooth all around. Brink is learning to poddy and poop outside, only having had one accident the first day. I've learned to read her signs that she needs to go out, and so far it's working!
We have also had to teach her to be in her kennel while we are at work. We practiced letting her be in there for a couple hours on Monday and Tuesday, but Wednesday morning was her longest time so far - 4 hours at a time. That first time was rough on her - she peed all over the kennel :( But I cleaned it up, fed her lunch, and put her back in for the last half of the work day. I came home and no accident! She has been really good about keeping her kennel clean since then and has even adjusted so she doesnt cry the entire time we're gone. Small victories!

She has been the most playful, spunky, snugglie, and loving puppy. She enjoys having company but prefers to curl up in someones lap for a nap :) She has brought us a lot of joy this week and we already love her so much! I've also been thankful for her because she has brought us more in touch with people around us. We've had a lot more conversations with certain neighbors, and everywhere we go kids want to hold and pet her. It's great!

Last weekend I also had the blessing of spending four days with my good friend Joanna! This was her first time in the city of Des Moines, and it was a blast. I felt like it was a great time of catching up, showing Joanna fragments of our life here, and just plain feeling refreshed. We had a lot of laughs, a little bit of sleep :) and enjoyed perfect spring weather in Iowa. It was easier to say goodbye this time when she left, knowing we'll see each other again in June. However, it was needed to have some alone time together. We havent had that for a long time! I was reminded of many things we have in common: our sense of humor, our deep love of books/reading, our hearts for people, our personalities and sensitivities, our need for people time and need for alone time, our love of crafts and sewing. It was good to be reminded of why the Lord made us good friends!

Saturday we walked around Gray's Lake, checked out Raygun t-shirts, ate the delicious Jimmy Johns (which apparently they don't have in SoCal - appaling!), spent some time on Drake campus, tried to go to Living History Farms (they wont open until May), read/skimmed about a million books at Barnes & Noble, and enjoyed a soccer match outdoors between Nepali and Burmese refugees. It was fun having my sister Jess here too! I enjoyed how well her and Joanna got along :)

I remember at one point saying "Joanna, I wish you were here every day." I know that we can't do anything to change our circumstances but man - I just wish she was closer! It was so good for my heart to have her here.

This past Wednesday also brought another major change in my life. My co-worker Katie has been pregnant for almost 9 months, and she made the decision long ago that she wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom when the time came. We've talked about it for the past two years, but now that the time is finally here, I don't think I was ready for the emotions that went with the reality of her leaving. On Wednesday, we surprised Katie with t-shirts we had made. They had her face on the front along with a text blurb of what she says every day to visitors. It was so fun to see her surprise in the morning, and even more fun to see so many green shirts on campus throughout the day!

That day I was reminded of just how many people Katie's life has touched in her 6 years at the office. I was touched by the stories people remember, of the change and transformation she's gone through, and hearing so many people say they would miss her. The more the day went on, the more I realized nothing would be the same for me at work! Two years ago I entered the office and met someone I'd been praying for for a LONG time. I'd been praying for one co-worker I could connect with, someone I would have a deeper relationship with. In the past couple years Katie and I have shared many laughs, many many tears, suffering, joy, awkward moments, times where we both wanted to quit, and times where we were both thankful the other was there! And now that is gone. I know I will always have a friend in Katie - and I will see her again. But it's not going to be the same as seeing her day in and day out.

At about 3:45pm, the tears started to flow and I couldn't stop them! I'm going to miss Katie a lot, because she brought so much to the office, to the students we work with, and to my life and heart.

I feel like I'm in "recovery" this weekend. We are busy and I'm still moving forward with life, but I also feel like I need a little time to recover from this week. I've lost more sleep this week than ever before (Brinkley has to tinkle in the night!), I've said hello and goodbye to my best friend, and I've said a very final goodbye to working with one of the coolest women I've known. 'Tis time to get refreshed and refocused so I can finish the spring strong. Emotionally I'm a mess, but spiritually the Lord is reminding me of what's important in life. Things are always changing, and I never want to take this time for granted, for tomorrow it may be different.

Making a Difference

2010-04-15T14:23:00.002-05:00

This was so encouraging to read today! I can't help but imagine all of my Nepali women friends when I hear about things like this. Hits close to home.

Really encouraged by what people are doing to save and help free so many others around the world!

Check out the article here.

A New Member of Our Family

2010-04-15T09:31:00.005-05:00

It's true! Our family will soon go from two to three.

Her name is Brinkley, and she will be eight weeks old this weekend. On Sunday, we will pick her up and officially bring her home.

So yeah - no kiddos for the Burriers yet, but we are getting a puppy!

Brinkley is 3/4 Shih-tsu, 1/4 Yorkie. When we met all the puppies in the litter, she was the one with the most spunk, playfulness, and a little bit of attitude - just like us :) We are so excited to have her here, and it will be a good lesson in responsibility and learning to take care of something. I think our lives are about to change in a big way, but we are ready for it!

I'll inevitably post pictures and stories soon. Until then, you can enjoy her sweet little face here.

Three Days

2010-04-13T15:08:00.004-05:00

That's all I have to get through until I see my best friend again!

The wonderful and lovely Joanna Kay will be walking on the grounds of Des Moines, IA on Friday night! For the past couple weeks Mikey (her husband) and I have been emailing about a "surprise visit" he wanted to arrange for her. We pulled it off by finding a weekend that works, coupled with some vacation time I had left. We will get four days to spend together!

Do you know how luxurious this is for us? Probably not. So I'll give you some background.Joanna and I met when we were in our early twenties, during the spring of 2004. When I was first introduced to her by a mutual friend, and we found out we'd be spending the summer together, our giddiness and love of hugs assured me we'd probably be friends. But when we began to pray for one another and email each other, I felt there could be something more than friendship. Well, after 10 weeks of the summer spent rising in the wee-hours of the morning to pray together, taking walks and talking about all aspects of life, climbing the largest mountain (successfully!) in Colorado, and sharing in our deep laughter and deep tears, I knew this was best-friend material in the making. We would often refer to our heart-connection as that of Jonathan to David in the Old Testament (see 1 Samuel and 1 Chronicles).

Since that summer, I don't think Joanna and I have been together in the same location for more than a couple days at a time! We both went back to separate colleges and kept in touch via letters and email. When it came time for her to follow the Lord's guidance to Japan, I sent her off with a journal that we would send back and forth for the next two and a half years (Jo - I need to find it so we can look at this weekend!!!), recording our lives on its pages. After returning back to the States and learning that she would be marrying an awesome guy, we had our phone calls and letters to keep in touch. Last fall when we gathered together in preparation for her upcoming wedding, we had a chance to spend a few weekends together. To be honest, it was difficult for me. I don't mind confessing that here, because it's a very real part of our friendship. When two people do not get to spend time together, face to face, and when you go through vastly different life experiences (her in Japan, me in corporate America) you are bound to change. But it's just growth! I'm glad that I shared honestly about my fear of our friendship failing, and I'm deeply grateful that with grace she worked through my emotions and doubts. I think we understand each other a little better. And though she has been living in Southern California and I've been in Iowa, I'm quick to refer to Joanna as my best friend. When the Lord moves in my heart/mind - I share it with her. When I'm struggling and needing comfort, I think of her. When I want someone to challenge me - it's Joanna who joins in the effort. Even from a distance!
Best friends are hard to find. So when you've got it, you work for it. And you do whatever you need to do to spend some time together! So a HUGE thank you to Mikey!

This Friday I will pick her up from the airport. We haven't set any plans, but I foresee a lot of giggling, hugs, quality conversation, meeting my family members, meeting our friends from Nepal, introducing her to friends & our church body, playing with my new puppy, resting, campfires?, travel?, and who knows what else! I'm just so excited I can't sleep at night. Last night I was thumbing through all my ideas of what we could do :)

Three more days. It's going to be one exciting weekend!

Reboot

2010-04-08T11:02:00.002-05:00

I had some time on my hands today and decided to upgrade my blog. Spring is here, which always entails a new season in my life, both literally and figuratively. I've been debating the purpose of my blog the past two months, and have come to some good conclusions. I began this blog as a way to journal my life and everything happening. It soon became a means of meeting people all over the world - I'm amazed at the connections I've made with fellow bloggers who I may never meet face to face! Then, in the most recent time, it's become a means of keeping people in my life informed about my life. I found myself starting to write a post but feeling pressure to perform for those I know who read! And I started to feel like blogging, twittering, and facebooking (it amazes me the new 'technological verbs' we've come up with in 2010) were a means for people to know what was going on in my life, but not really KNOW me. Or talk to me in person! Or call me on the phone! So I've been weighing whether or not to keep this up.

I have rebooted my system and heart towards this blog. I once again want to go back to using it as a way to journal my life. Something permanent I can come back to in the future, to remember what happened and what I experienced in various seasons of life. To go along with this, I chose a new journal-template for the look. I think I'm enjoying it - but I cant figure out how to get rid of the annoying tabs on each post (along the left) or at least how to name them!

So thanks for your patience, blog-readers. At least those who are left! We'll see what I can come up with in the next few weeks/months. There are a lot of exciting things happening that I am ready to start putting up here.

Here's to a new season!

Provision

2010-03-23T15:56:00.003-05:00

Do you ever have a moment where God just meets you exactly where you're at? When you actually know that He has seen directly into your heart, has understood what you are feeling and needing, and then provides?

I know that God shows up in this way throughout our entire day, every day. We just don't always realize or acknowledge it. But today was different. I realized it and almost started crying.

I had emailed Marcus this afternoon, explaining something I was feeling. His words were encouraging, but my heart just wasn't settled. Less than two hours later, I received an extremely out-of-the-blue email from someone. I mean, someone who never emails me. They don't even live in the same state as me! I can only explain the timing as 100% perfect and exactly, exactly, exactly what I needed.

I'm thankful for eyes to see the connection in what the Lord did to meet me where I'm at. I'm also so very much anticipating the month of April. More to come. All I can say is I am reminded of the Lord's great faithfulness, even in the smallest details in our lives. I need to journal this to reference a specific way I've seen provision. Because it's there. It's totally there. From the best source.

The March of Birthdays

2010-03-16T09:05:00.006-05:00

March seems like the month for family birthdays, especially this week!

Happy Birthday to Joni on March 15!

Joni is compassionate, strong, awesome mom, gifted in planning/organizing, funny, and really great at cartwheels :) I'm glad for an awesome sister-in-law!

Happy Birthday to my Dad (today!!!) on March 16!

My dad is steadfast, always telling stories (sometimes on repeat!), a provider, survived raising three girls, and a hard worker. Happy birthday today, Pops!

Happy Birthday to Karen on March 20!

Karen is grace-filled, gentle in spirit, ever-giving of her time and heart, the best sewing teacher, and a super mother-in-law!

Looking forward to a week of birthday celebrating! I realize after this post that it's time to update the photos I have online :)

Also happy birthday to Katie S & Dan (March 4), Billy (March 6), little Lucy (March 10), and Joel T (March 24). And anyone else I missed!

Thoughts on Approval

2010-03-03T08:53:00.003-06:00

I really enjoyed this post today by Don Miller (author of "Blue Like Jazz"). I've been doing some "soul searching" in regards to a conversation I had with Marcus last night, about this very topic. Although I don't always agree with things others say, something about this resonates with me today. You can check in out here.

Quite a Year

2010-02-25T10:50:00.002-06:00

2010 is shaping up to be a really great year so far. However, as Marcus pointed out last night, it's not been a great blogging year for me!

I think I've just been so wrapped up in all that's going on, that I've neglected my blog and even all the social networking availabilities. It's actually felt kind of refreshing! I've had a lot of time to think about things happening in my life, along with spending a lot of time reflecting on the purpose/heart behind why I blog, why I Twitter, why I Facebook. I feel like it's been healthy and revealed some change in motivation, some conviction.

For now, I will keep trying to figure out whether to keep blogging and how to use this space for the right purpose. As Marcus and I head into our five year anniversary in a couple weeks, it has seemed the right time in life to reflect and think ahead to the next new season in store.

The Waiting and The Stretching

2010-01-29T16:01:00.002-06:00

I have had a lot of thoughts recently of why "bad things" tend to happen in life. I know that we live in a fallen, broken, cracked world. And yet I often wonder why, why would God allow things to happen. I think it's all part of a waiting game. We are waiting, even expecting God to show up and do his thing. And He does - time and time again. And He will - once and for all - in the end.

I have seen this in the 9 months of pregnancy (not first-hand, but through many close friends).

I have seen this in engagement (mine was short, but we all still wait for the marriage day).

I have seen this in the pain and anguish of hardship in whatever form you experience it.

I have seen this in the many, many joyful stories coming out of the disaster of the earthquake in Haiti.

I loved this blog post by my soon-to-be-friend, Mike. He will be marrying my friend Joni in June and I've yet to meet him. I love how he processes the Word. This post is about this waiting, about the purpose for hardship, for pain, for things that go wrong, for struggle. God is not against us, at all. He is FOR us. Do we see that, even in the waiting? Even when our hearts hurt so bad and we are at our rope's end? Do we really believe it? Reading this was such a great way to end my day today.

2010-01-29T14:16:00.001-06:00

If you want a good cry, this will pull at your heartstrings. I love this woman and her work, and her honesty about what's in her heart/mind. So excited for the example she is to me about living a life for others. Seriously. It's worth reading.

2010-01-26T11:19:00.003-06:00

I know it's been awhile. I've had a rough patch lately of life and all that goes with it. My heart has been full, it's been empty, I've been so happy, and so sad, I've had big physical pain, and I've had great relief. A whirlwind start to 2010.

Haiti and adoption have been on my mind. Almost like it's gripping my mind and won't let go. I'm amazed at the constant stories I'm hearing of hope and the Lord's amazing grace in the midst of tragedy and loss. Stories like a mother, 7-months pregnant, found alive 5 days after the quake and she and baby are fine. Like the American man found alive after 78 hours under the rubble, having written notes on the notepad in his pocket to say good-bye to his three sons, yet he's alive. And like that of orphan children already tied to an American family, finally getting to come home.

This is one of the sweetest adoption stories I've followed in a long time. I'm friends with one of their friends, they don't even know me. But their story brings constant tears to my eyes and allows me to see the value and virtue found in WAITING on the Lord, and the joy that can come in the midst of chaos. Check out Jamie's blog here, and watch the news video at the end. I'm so thankful, so grateful, that God has brought Amos home. My heart only longs for more orphaned children to come home to adopting families. I know it will take a long time for adoption to open up again (seriously, we do not want to be disintegrating families while relatives may still be found/reunited) but I hope people will not forget the need and the orphans who WILL need a home. Now and in the future.

I'm in awe. Thanks, Lord.

2010-01-15T08:35:00.002-06:00

I sat at my desk this morning and wiped away tears as I saw photos of Haiti. This photo especially breaks my heart. I wish I could swoop down there, snuggle as many kids as I can into my arms, and bring them home and be their mommy. There are SO MANY orphans in Haiti, and with the events this week, the numbers will only grow greater and faster. Praying for Haiti and the more than 147 million orphans in our world today.

Sporcle

2010-01-14T15:31:00.004-06:00

If you have any free time and want to waste it on a game, I can recommend a fun one :)
My students introduced me to this last year and it is super addicting. When we get stressed or have a free moment, someone will inevitably say "Sporcle" and we'll work on a quiz together. It always draws a crowd when you ask someone for an answer. Here are some fun ones I've tried out this week, while waiting for students to return. Enjoy!

Idioms - I was surprised how quickly they came to mind!

20th Century Events - Crazy we are no longer in that century.

US States - How many can YOU name in 60 seconds? So far my best is 34.

The Office - This is for all you die-hard fans of the show!

Begins & Ends - I like these word ones. They're my fave.

Simple Math - I had to do this twice before I completed it in 60 seconds!

Double D Words - Another wordy one!

Silent P - I could do these all day.